The Smell of Air

Do you ever catch a hint of something in the air?  Something that just takes you back to good times?  In the fall it may be a hayride, the scent of changing leaves or the smell of apple butter cooking over a large fire.  The winter brings the smell of fresh cut evergreen trees and hot chocolate after sledding.  Spring is a mixture of the smell of rain, fresh earth and the bloom of new flowers and lilac trees.  Summer is my favorite...the smell of barbecue, campfires and the faint hint of Coopertone left on the kids' skin after a day at the beach.

And then there is the smell of.....air.  Just plain air.  When I was young and growing up on the farm, usually if  you smelled 'air' it was someone spreading cow manure.  Well, the kind of air I am talking about is much sweeter, much fresher.  Much more pure.  The hint of the world around you being alive.  Take today for example.  Maya and Riley thought it was perfectly acceptable to wake up at 6:01 on a Sunday morning.  Ok, that is never acceptable on any morning!!  The day got off to a rough start, a few meltdowns, a time-out.  I promised them an early lunch and then an extended play outside before Teagan was due for a nap.  Well....after a lot of good, fresh air, I decided it was the perfect day for all the girls to nap after being up so early and so worn out.  Tucking them into bed I could smell it.  Smell it in their hair.  The smell of air.  The smell of the breeze, rolling in the grass and picking dandelions and swinging on the swing.  The smell of not having a care in the world. 

I love the smell of air!!

Resume of a SAHM

I realized the other day that it has been nearly five years since I left my job in corporate America.  Nearly five whole years have passed since I gave up the 8-5 grind of my salaried, business-trip taking, 1 hr daily commute each way, male-dominated job.  And I wondered what would happen if I tried to re-enter the work force now.  After five years of being a full-time wife and stay-at-home mom (and part-time assistant in my husband's businesses) what would make me think of rejoining the 40-hr work week?  I am sure I'd be light-years behind in new technologies (all these young kids have the corner on that) and my resume would need a face-lift.  So, I thought I'd give it a shot at revising my resume a bit.

Emily Spencer

Objective:  To re-enter the world of corporate America, and not fall flat on my face doing it

Career History:  CEO and CFO of the Spencer Family
Duties include (in no particular order):

• Teacher
• Personal Chef
• Fashion coordinator
• Hair stylist
• General Practitioner and Amateur Surgeon
• Mediator
• Events Planner
• Laundress
• Chauffeur
• Personal Shopper
• Story Teller
• Puppet Master
• Spiritual guide
• Reference Librarian
• Housekeeper
• Accountant/Bookkeeper
• Personal Assistant
• Game show host
• Referee
• Pack Mule

Future duties to include:

• Life Coach
• Guidance counselor
• Banker
• Mender of broken hearts

References include: 

• Maya and Riley, ages 3 yrs, 7 months
• Teagan, age 22 months
• Aaron, age 20

Benefits request:

• 40 hour work week
• 3 weeks paid vacation
• Health, dental, vision, life, AD & D insurance
• Matching 401k and Pension plans
• Salaried position starting at ..............

And then I got to thinking, what job could I possibly get that would put all of my skill sets to use and what could I even being to ask for as a starting base salary?  Maybe I am better suited to stay where I am.  Keep my 365 day/year, 24 hour/day job.  Keep my full benefits package of kisses and hugs, the smell the my girls after they get out of the bath, the squeal in their voices when they blow bubbles, the "I love you Mommy" as they are tucked in at night.  There is always room for upward mobility.  Always room to add more to the job duties. As the girls grow and mature there will be lots more responsibilities, lots more benefits.  And I am pretty sure the title of SAHM will be just fine.

Sisters

Sisters.

What can I say? 

You've got them or you don't.  You love them or you don't.  You fight with them or you.....well, you probably fight with them! 

Sisters (our earliest friends whether we admit it or not) will torture us, tease us, support us, love us, lift us up when we are down, and remind us where we come from.  They endure bad fashion choices, broken hearts, fullfilled dreams and a whole host of other things right along side of you. 

My girls have a lifetime ahead of them.  I am glad they have each other for all of those things.

I am so very fortunate I have a sister.  A sister that has done all of the above mentioned things for me.  And today on her birthday I celebrate her and cheer her on for whatever this next year brings to her life.  Love you Lil' Sis!  Hope your day is special, just like you! 

And, what would a sister be if she didn't post a picture of a bad fashion choice!!  ;-) 
(circa 1982)

TMI

Let's face it, we live in the information age. At the tips are our fingers exsist any possible piece of information we could every want to know. And it overwhelms us, bombards us. The news. Satellite radio. Facebook, Twitter, Four Square, Google Plus. It's hard enough cramming in the stuff we want to know and then there is the "TMI". The stuff that just doesn't seem to make sense to be out there mudding up our cramped brains. (Come on, you know the people that put the craziest stuff on Faceebook or Twitter. It's like "did I honestly need to read THAT?!?!" But, when is information the sweetest thing ever? When it comes from our kids! I am a self-proclaimed Pinterest nut. I love it. I can't tell you how many spaces in my house have been reorganized, decluttered and streamlined. New recipes tried. New hairstyle picked. Summer parties mapped out!! But this quote from another blogger caught my attention yesterday: "Listen earnestly to anything your children want to tell you, no matter what. If you don't listen eagerly to the little stuff when they are little, they won't tell you the big stuff when they are big, because to them all if it has always been big stuff." (Catherin M. Wallace) Truer words have never been spoken. As parents, we have to admit that we have ALL said to our kids at the moment they are trying to interrupt you for the 31st time that hour "just give me one more minute honey, mommy is trying to finish something." I read that quote and I thought, I don't want my kids to ever think laundry, an email, balance the checkbook or making a grocery list was more important than showing off their dance moves or their latest artwork or telling me their favorite color is red. Aaron calls or texts me a lot, a lot for a 20-year old college sophomore wanting to talk to his step mom. But I love that he calls me to tell me about an A on a test, or the lease he just signed on his first appartment. I hope I give that gift to my girls. To listen to them, to hear them 100% of the time. No matter if it's little or big. Admittedly it may take more effort to do that. Since I didn't roll out of bed at 5 am this morning to work out like I had planned, I tried to fit one in mid-morning. I had to stop and read 2 books to Teagan, put a Rapunzel costume on Maya and have Riley show me her block tower. But, that was more important than my work out. So who cares! So I apologize if I don't respond to every Facebook comment you post or email you send. I am busy talking to my kids and taking it all in. All the TMI in the world!

Let's go fly a kite

I have the song from Mary Poppins running through my head: "Let's go fly a kite, up to the highest heights. Let's go fly a kite and send it soaring." This afternoon was the perfect day to fly kites. Thank goodness the Easter Bunny dropped 3 in baskets this year. Maya and Riley are quite the pros. Riley is very good at saving the kite during wild dips and dives. Maya likes to be the chaser. Running after when it crashes to the ground and joyfully jumping into the air and lifting it back up. Until they got bored and then Riley would "accidently" drop the handle or Maya would get twisted in the line. What do you expect, they are only 3 1/2. I think flying kites is like raising children. On a smooth day, there isn't much activity to have to worry about. When the winds kick up and blow, it makes for a much more interesting ride. You have to hold on tightly to the handle and give it solid support. You have to make sure the string is long enough to include support and has enough leverage to let the beauty of the kite and all of its colors soar. You must be good at anticipating dips and dives and (hopefully) be good at recovery. But, in the event they fall, you must be there to pick up the pieces and lift it back up. As parents sometimes we "accidentally" drop the handle on our children. Some times they dip and dive. Sometimes they get twisted in the line. I hope my handle on life provides a solid foundation for my kids. I hope the support line is full of family, friends, faith, values, morals, fun and adventure. I hope at the other end they soar. As Maya put it today "this is my best day." Thank you Easter Bunny for today's simple pleasure! BIG TREASURE!

Days like these

There are days when nothing seems to go right.  Kids fight.  Husband works late.  Rain keeps you stuck inside.  Kids fight.  Laundry takes over.  Kids won't eat lunch.  Telemarketers call.  Garbage can spills.  Kids fight.  And you try to remember what it was like to be just you.  To call up a friend and meet on the spur of the moment for lunch or drinks.  When you could at least call up a good friend and just talk without interruption. 

I am so blessed to be surrounded by such an amazing group of friends.  A true support system from way back.  Most of them are mothers now, so they TOTALLY get where I am coming from.  I am glad that our friendships have endured times when we didn't see each other for months on end but could call each other for anything and then when we did meet, it was like a moment hadn't passed at all.  I am fortunate to have family members (sisters, aunts, cousins) that I consider to be truly wonderful mothers and that I could turn to for anything.  I look up to them and consider myself blessed to have so many wonderful roll models.

I hope my girls have important, lasting friendships like that.  I see it developing already with each other.  Maya and Riley's twin bond that began in the womb continues today when they snuggle on the couch to watch TV and their legs are intertwined and they are holding hands.  Or the like the other night when checking on them late, we found Maya asleep in Riley's bed.  Maya and Riley won't go to bed until they have said prayers with Teagan, sang her a song and kissed her good night. 

Today has been a good day.  Days like these I'll take any day of the week.  While cleaning up lunch the girls decided to "dance".  Hand in hand they went round and round the dining room table.  Laughing and giggling (and occasionally tripping over one another).  But they would stop, help one another up and ask "are you OK?" and right back to "dancing" they would go.  Yup, these are the days that make all of those "other" days bearable. 

Rules

Rules.  Rules are everywhere.  From a very young age we are taught not to take candy from/rides from strangers.  Don't lie, cheat or steal.  Don't run stop signs.  Always look both ways before we cross the street.  Rules exist to keep us safe.  To make things fair and equal.  To make things make sense. 

We also hear that rules are meant to be broken.  Or there is the exception to the rule.  But a rule by it's very definition is a "principle or regulation governing conduct, action, procedure, arrangement, etc".  As parents, aren't we supposed to lead our children, teach them solid principles with regards to their conduct, actions, etc.  We are supposed to teach them rules.  And rules are meant to be followed. 

Or are they?

When flying home from Key West on Sunday we had a lay-over in Atlanta.  After an hour layover and then another 30 min delay they finally started boarding the plane.  As is customary, they announced that passengers needing extra time down the jetway or families with small children should board the air craft first.  Then is supposed to some first class passengers.  Those are just the rules.  Special needs passengers had boarded the plane.   Bill and I were standing in line ready to board and the gate worker spots 2 soldiers in uniform standing near the desk.  She opens the first class rope and says "soldiers, you in next".  Everyone at the gate turns to see these 2 young men.  Nobody, not one passenger made a fuss, or argued.  This rule, this policy, obviously didn't matter.

Yesterday I stopped into the local grocery to pick up a few items.  A headline in the local paper caught my eye.  As we don't subscribe to the paper, I took a minute to read the first few paragraphs.  A 17-year old senior from the next school district over had been told he wouldn't march with his class or graduate this June.  He had missed too many days in the first semester. 16 unexcused absences when the district's polity (i.e. RULE) was 14.  The article goes on to explain that this boy missed the time because his mother had Stage IV breast cancer.  He missed the days to take his mother to doctors appointments, stayed with her when she was sick.  Stayed with his mother to help.  When all of his other friends were going to football games, being excited about homecoming...he was making life choices that I am sure gave him more of an education than a classroom setting ever could.  I was glad to see that the whole community had rallied behind this young man.  Signing petitions, attending school board meetings, calling the principals office. The article said he would be permitted to graduate with his class in June. 

These two rules, two policies exist for a reason.  But in thinking about what I want to teach my children, the principles and respect I want them to have for others, I hope they know to what extent you should follow a rule.  Don't endanger some one's safety.  Don't blatantly disregard some one's property or personal space.  Do follow governing practices.  Don't drink and drive.  Don't text and drive. 

I don't necessarily think rules are meant to be broken.  I think rules are meant......to be bent. 

Ties to home

Day 3 of vacation. Yesterday was beaches, pool, awesome raw seafood restaurant on the pier followed by several of Key West's finest attractions and several local bands. This morning after 8 glorious hours of sleep (by the way, I had 10 hrs Wednesday night) we had a great breakfast at an open-air French cafe and then toured Ernest Hemingway's house. And here begins just one of the many ties home.....

Bill and I were married on Smather's Beach in Key West July 15, 2006. Our wedding "reception" lunch was held at Jimmy Buffet's Margaritaville and later that afternoon we toured Ernest Hemingway's house. Thanks to our love of Jimmy Buffet, when the twins came along, we chose Delaney for Maya's middle name based on the Buffett song "Delaney Talks to Statues.". Riley's middle name, Pilar, is the name of Ernest Hemingways's fishing boat (and we all know Bill "likes" to fish). And then comes Teagan (a.k.a. TT) whose name means beautiful. Acrossing the streeet from the hotel is a butterfly conservatory with hundreds of live butterflies you can walk through. Teagan's room is decorated in butterflis. Bill and I are currently sitting poolside at the very place we stayed when we got married nearly 6 years ago. Aaron spent the week with us and one of my favorite photos was taken from our balcony overlooking the pool....Aaron was floating on this back, face to the sky in a light rain.

What a long way we've all come. What beatiful place we are....literally and figuratively. In the last 6 years we've blended our families, added 3 precious girls to our lives and come back to the place that got it all started.

Sippy-Cup Free Weekend

The sippy cup free weekend. Otherwise known as a mommy/daddy, kid-free trip. I am excited, but missing my girls terribly after just a day. But it's good for mommies and daddies to get away, right? Right!?! Slight pangs of mom-guilt came over me this morning as I kissed them all good bye. Thank goodness it was 5am and they were all still sleeping.

There are exactly 3 times in the last 3 1/2 years that I have been gone overnight away from the girls. Once was the 2 days I spent in the hospital after delivering Teagan (and I guess technically that shouldn't count since I did have one of the girls with me). The second was a night spent in the hospital after being admitted for seizures. The third was just last fall when a friend and I went to Columbus overnight shopping (and the girls were with Bill at the time).

Day one nearly down. Lunch at an open-air beach cafe, laying by the pool, couples massage at the beach cabana followed by a long walk up & down Duval Street hand in hand. I sure the girls probably had more fun at home with Grammy & Pap. Never the less, one day down....4 days to go.

So, looking forward to the rest of our relaxing, reconnecting vacation together. I am sure it'll bring us closer together and help us be better parents who are a little less stressed out. And for the next four days, the only plastic cup with a straw in it that I want to see is from the cabana boy!!!!

Good Friday!!

Today's simple pleasures brought to you by the following:

The girls' impromptu dance party after breakfast!!


The 2-hr visit to my wonderful stylist Jacci who made this mama feel like a hot-mama (and not a hot mess like the cashier pointed out the other day).

For the 30 minute drive to Canton where I jammed to my play list of Madonna, Black Eyed Peas, Bon Jovi, Michael Jackson.....

For the 30 minute drive home from Canton spent in quiet reflection thinking about the importance of Good Friday and the upcoming Resurection. Thankful for my relationship with the Lord and the blessings He gives to us every day.

A Good Friday indeed!!!!

Teach your children well

One of the most important functions of a parent is being a teacher.  Everything a child learns in life should have it's basic foundations in the home from a very young age.  And by parents preferably.  This is my honest opinion.  I am not necessarily talking about "school learning" of reading, writing and arithmetic, but everyday basics that are essential for being a good, responsible person.

Take manners for example.  How many children don't know manners?  I am proud to say that even my 21 month old says please and thank you...and even says excuse me when she burps and Bless You when someone sneezes.  Maya and Riley say thank you to people that hold the door open for us, because they have been taught that someone is doing a kind act for us.  Kids (and adults) that are just rude can't claim they don't know any better.  It's a basic function of being a person.  Yesterday I was in line at a certain super-store buying groceries and the last minute necessities for Easter.  I was asked to show identification for the alcohol I was purchasing (yes, thank you for thinking I appear younger than 40!!!).  The cashier studied my license for at least 2 minutes to make sure it was me.  YUP.....just a current blond me doesn't match the brunette of the photo nearly 4 years ago.  Then she proceeds to say "well, not that you asked for my opinion, but I like your hair better then....you should go back.  VERY FEW people can carry a blond look when they are naturally dark."  This from the "lady" with 3 different colors of hair.  Then she proceeds to comment about the "fortune" I was spending in sippy cups (I bought 6).  However she comments that she has "at least $100 worth of sippy cups at her house for her granddaughters."  Oh dear, please don't let those children learn manners from their grandmother.  And thus was the hour I had to myself yesterday.  Being chastised about my hair from the cashier.  Great......this person could learn a thing or 2 from a day at my house!

And another basic foundation is kindness.  I took the girls today to visit their great-grandma who is recovering from a horrible car accident at a nursing/rehabilitation facility.  They were fussy before we left for home because they just wanted to color.  I can't blame them, coloring is fun!  Well...after getting there (and a little treat of chocolate candy from grandma), they were quite content with our hour and a half visit.  They enjoyed coloring pictures and proudly showing them off.  They were even very excited to deliver their "footmade" craft of butterflies made from painting the bottom of their feet. 

Respect.  For yourself and for others.  I cannot tell you how much it unnerves me when people show a blatant disregard for respect.  The way you dress, speak, interact...is all a reflection on yourself.  Young "adults" that walk around with their stomachs hanging out, boxers hanging out, skirts riding up.  No one needs to see that people.  It's not going to make you a better person or more popular when you are 25 and trying to land a job.  And seriously, these teenagers and the stuff they put on Facebook!  Man, have some respect for your parents and yourself.  They were young once too....and you will be old someday with a family of your own.  I fear for young children whose parents push them into the people the parents want them to be.   

Not that I am a perfect parent.  I make mistakes.  My kids make mistakes.  It's a learning process everyday.  I am proud that I have people in my life that I relate to as parents and look up to.  I am not afraid to ask for advice.  I am glad that my kids have the opportunity to learn from me, just as I learn from them.  Sometimes even Mommy's have to be reminded to say "please and thank you".

Where I Come From

Where to begin?  Right now I come from a place bordering on exhaustion.  But never the less, I have been wanting and meaning to write this first post for several days now, so I am taking the time to do it.  I suppose I can thank my husband (partly) for this idea.  Because I don’t already have enough to do, he jokingly suggested a few weeks ago as we were watching TV one night that maybe I needed a “pet project”.  My quick response was “I already have 4 pet projects right now”.  He looked puzzled and again with the quick-wit “Maya, Riley, Teagan….and BILL”.  I went to bed that night exhausted as usual, but his comment got me thinking.  Maybe he was (a little) right.  My weekdays pretty much run like clock-work, our schedule down to a science.  Multi-tasking at its finest.  Busy with the girls, the house, errands, and working part-time in the office to keep our business and rental investments running smoothly.  Evenings and weekends we fit in time as a family, with friends, church, projects around the house.  There is little time for us as a couple…and even less time for me as an individual.  Every day since July 15, 2006 I have been a wife….and every second of every day for the last 3 years, 6 months, and 30 days I have been a mom.   I used to hit the gym 5 days a week, to take an entire day every month to scrapbook with friends, travel on business, to eat fancy dinners out on a moment’s notice, take romantic trips with my husband, I used to sleep in past 6:30 a.m.  So then about a week after my husband made the “pet project” comment, a very dear friend said I should try my hand at blogging.  Like I have the time for that, I said.  And later I thought, maybe she’s (a little) right.  If I couldn’t spend 9 hours scrapbooking anymore, or an hour at the gym, why couldn’t I take 15 minutes a day to just get my thoughts out, clear my head, brag about my kids, rant about things with my boss (whom I happened to be married to)….or about nothing at all. 

All of this crazy, silly business keeps be from getting board.  I come from a place where my friends understand that we have to carve out time from our busy schedules to spend time together, but it means so much when we can share a day of lunch and shopping and talk like we haven’t spent a moment apart.  I come from a place where family, friends and faith are more important than the size of your house, the car you drive, the toys that you have or the amount of money in your bank.

This past Sunday was Palm Sunday.  Bill and I loaded the girls up and made the hour and 15 min drive to the small country church where I grew up.  We had to park in the grass and although it wasn’t standing room only, it was pretty full!  I love that the passing of the peace takes nearly 10 minutes until you get to everyone and then get back to your seat.  I had to laugh to myself a little bit thinking about some of those larger churches that have “cry rooms” for families with young children so they can sit in there and not disturb the rest of the congregation during the service.  Well, the entire left half of our sanctuary would need to be blocked off if that were the case!!  So many old friends that I grew up with are now married and have children of their own.  And I am sure all of them feel the same way I do on most days being crazed, tired, and missing adult time.  And you know what, not a single person in that church minds when kids run into the aisles or shouts out in the middle of a hymn.  Or like Teagan did during Advent, assisted the Pastor in the middle of his sermon when he was commenting “Ready, Set”….and she yells “GO”.  It’s days like that can only make you laugh, and smile and be glad that one of the reasons I am so exhausted sat right there in the pew next to me.    And I’ll take that any day!