30 days of thanks

At the beginning of the month I started writing down each day what I had in my life that I considered a blessing.

My 30 days of thanks:

1.  Three freshly bathed girls, dressed in new PJ's snuggling in my bed.

2.  Wearing sunglasses to drive the girls to school for the first time in a week.  Welcome back sunshine!  As the girls put it "what a beautiful, sunny day!"
3.  The new book the girls picked off the shelf today to read before naps & bedtimes was "My First Bible".
4.  Mushy bananas (ick)...and for the 2 wonderfully delicious loaves of banana nut bread that are baking in the oven.  Perfect for a fall day.
5.  Grandparents.  The wonderful people that helped shaped my life growing up and are at the foundation of so many of my childhood memories.  And the "grandpas, grannies, paps, grammies, grandmas, papas and gram grams" that are so important in the the lives of my children. 
6.  For the ability, right, privilege and honor to vote. 
7.  For Wednesdays....for the 5 (short) hours when the sitter comes and I can run errands, do office work, get a haircut or just THINK in peace!
8.  For the sunset views fro my back deck.  "Cotton candy sky" as the girls say.  One of God's masterpieces!

9.  The opportunity to attend a special Mass at the girls' school with them in honor of Veteran's Day.
10.  Time spent with family.
11.  A great church family, a warm day and a little spontaneity!

12.  Fall that has given us so many blessings as a family. 
13.  That my girls think outside of the box and for lunch on this chilly fall day we had hot dogs, corn on the cob, watermelon, cantaloupe, strawberries and pineapple.

14.  For great friends that make the world a better place.
15.  Thankful for my wonderful siblings and all of the crazy fun and love they bring to our family!!
16.  FRIDAY!!  Hello weekend!
17.  Sauerkraut!!!  Lots and lots and LOTS of freshly canned, homemade sauerkraut....YUM!
18.  Thankful that my girls are great travelers!
19.  For a fun, relaxing hour with my husband getting a pedicure.
20.  Surprises!  That Aaron made it in to North Carolina to celebrate Thanksgiving with the family and a fun time had by all at Pullen Park.

21.  For the times I get to watch my children drift off to sleep
22.  For the opportunity to share a meal with my wonderful husband, beautiful children, extended family and give thanks and praise to God for all of our blessings.
23.  Thankful we decided to extended our vacation an extra day and were able to spend more time with family.
24.  For a safe trip home.
25.  For all of the Christmas decorations piled high in the garage....time to get ready for my favorite time of the year.
26.  Thankful for the warm weather today and the chance to get the final fall clean-up and outdoor decorations done (and not having to freeze my tail off to do them!!!!)
27.  To starting a new tradition:  writing letters to Santa!  We are taking Santa Train this weekend and get to meet Santa and give him our letters. Sooooo excited!

 

28.  For being able to knock out a good deal of the remainder of my holiday shopping list.

29.  For the 5 boxes of Girl Scout cookies we remembered were in the freezer....BRING ON THE THIN MINTS!

30.  For yesterday.  For today.  For all the tomorrows ahead.  For all of you dear to our hearts that give us something to be thankful for every day.  For the start of Advent (my favorite part of the Christian year) and the celebration of the birth of our King.  For the feeling of excitement growing in anticipation of the look on my kids' faces this Christmas and hearing their laughter and shrieks on Christmas morning.  For the good times that make us laugh and the hard times that make us stronger.  I am thankful for it all.  For that's what it's all about anyway!

 

 

 



Things kids say

So, throughout our days, my girls come up with some real doozies!  They are never short of topics to discuss, questions to pose or comments to proudly professed.  They are picking up on intonation of voices around them and certain slang is starting to come through in their conversations as well.  Today they were full of it!

Just a sampling of what I was treated to tonight en route to gymnastics:

Riley:  Mom, how old are you?
Me:  35
Riley:  And what comes next, 36?
Me:  Yes
Maya:  And what is next?  37 and 38 and 39?
Me:  Yes
Riley:  And what comes after 40, when you are old?!?
Me:  Gee, thanks!
Maya:  After 40 comes 100 when you can really cute loose and party! 

While making dinner the girls were playing with their Little People and Maya couldn't find one of her dolls. 
Me:  Maya, what is wrong?
Maya:  I can't find the mommy doll.
Me:  Is it in the toy room?
Maya:  Yes, Riley is looking for it.  She's a good toy finder.  Almost like you
Me:  That's nice.
Riley (as she climbed the stairs):  I found the daddy doll
Me:  Where is the mommy doll?
Maya (in total disgust):  Probably on a toy-mommy vacation
Teagan:  WHAT FOR??!?

And then they topped themselves during dinner as I was making up a little song to try and get them to eat:
Maya:  Boy mom, you are a good singer
Me:  Thanks buddy.
Riley:  And you are a really, I mean REALLY, great drinker

What kids say is one thing, what we hear them say is another.  They are becoming little people with a sense of humor.  While maybe not flattered by all they had to say tonight at my expense, I am amused by the logic they put together and how they express themselves.  I guess after they go to bed I'll take my old, partying, drinking self to the couch and have a mommy vacation. 

Thanks and giving

Tis the season for Thanksgiving.  Sure, I mean the turkey, dressing, mashed potatoes, yummy veggies and delicious baked goods.  A table finely set with good china, linens and candles.  A warm room filled with family and loved ones.  And this year, as in years past, I know we'll sit around such a table with such a feast spread before us and one-by-one we'll give thanks.

We seem to have no shortage of things to be thankful for.  I know friends that take the month of November and try to list something everyday that they are thankful for.  I know people that have a thanks and praise journal of sorts and every day they write what they are thankful for to keep as a reminder.  I am using November for just a purpose myself, taking the time to write it down each day so that I can see it right in front of me.  It also will be a good lesson that when days are long and challenging, there should always be at least one thing we can find to give thanks. 

I am trying to look at this in a broader sense this year, of both thanks AND giving.  So in addition to thinking of what I am thankful for this season, I am also getting the girls involved in giving.  Giving back, giving where we can, just giving!  Yesterday I donated the $0.44 in change I got back at the store to the literacy campaign the store was sponsoring.  Today the girls and I each took in a canned food item to their school for the food drive.  We are working on tomorrow's project already to color and draw pictures to mail to a dear friend recovering from knee surgery (if you read this now, just act surprised when you get it!).  I am hoping by getting the girls involved in my plans, we'll be able to talk about the things we are blessed with and how we can use our blessings to help others.

I also challenge you to be in the giving spirit as well.   I don't believe it has to take tremendous amounts of money or time to accomplish this, sometimes just a simple act of smiling at someone in the store and stopping to say 'hello' may mean the world to that person on that particular day.  Take a meal to a shut in.  Help an elderly neighbor rake leaves or clean out their gutters.  Donate a food item to a food drive.  Buy a toy for a "Toys for Tots" program.  Send homemade cards to a military person serving our country.  Volunteer at a soup kitchen.  However you are moved to give, please do it.  Get others involved as well be it in your family, church, or neighborhood. 

I hope I can find the time to be able to give for all 30 days of November as well as writing down my points of thanks.  If not, I know at the end I'll be so thankful for the days I was able to do just that little extra for someone else.  I'll know that I've worked to show my girls how important it is and to be thankful that we have so much to give.

 

Raising compassionate kids

We do as best as we can to raise our kids and turn them into happy, healthy, well-adjusted adults.  We teach them all we can to be the best people they can be.  They learn the necessary skills:  reading, writing, math....brushing their teeth, tying their shoes, cleaning up after themselves.....eventually cooking, driving, money management.  As parents we never stop teaching and guiding our kids. 

One thing that surprises me are the people that fail to teach and guide their kids in the crucial skill of compassion.  I am talking about more than being "kind".  I am surprised at the park when I hear a half-hearted response form a mom saying "be nice" as her kid rushes past those that are younger or knocks over another kid and flings stones...and then doesn't even look back to see if they are OK.  During Trick or Treat this weekend a boy about 7 or 8 years old came down our drive with a group of older kids, maybe 10-12 years old.  He dropped his orange pumpkin full of candy and it rolled down our drive, spewing the loot everywhere.  He was scrambling to pick it up and catch the bucket....and all of the older kids walked right past him and some of them pointed and laughed.  The adults waiting at the top didn't come to help and certainly didn't make sure anyone helped this little boy out.  Kids can be mean and cruel, and in the age of bullying and zero-tolerance policies, I am wondering why parents aren't aware that now, more than ever, it is important to teach our kids to be compassionate. 

It makes my heart happy when one of my kids are sad or hurt and one of the other girls comes up and gives them a hug or kiss and says "are you OK?  You will feel better."  They recognize when someone they care about needs help.  What makes my heart do leaps of joy is when they recognize that someone else needs a friend.  Maya and Riley have come home a few times since the beginning of the school year and said that this girl or that boy cried at school today.  Someone had an accident or someone was really missing their mommy.  I asked them one day "what do you do when one of your friends is sad at school?"  Maya said "I ask if they are OK."  And Riley said "and we play with them!"  And Maya follows up "and sometimes we hug them too."  Well, at four, I am thinking that is pretty much right on the money. 

My girls are incredibly shy at first glance.  Their first swim lesson this summer was a disaster.  But, we pushed through and now they are old-pros at going to the Y for gymnastic lessons.  Teagan started a new session today and there are several first-timers in her class.  One little girl was SOOO upset, not wanting to do any of the floor exercises and out-right screamed.  Her mom was obviously embarrassed. Teagan looked at me and said "why is she crying, Mommy?"  I answered that she was maybe a little afraid and sad and she didn't know anyone.  Teagan walked right up to her, took her hand, crouched down turned her little head sideways so she could look up at this little girl in the face and said "I'll be your friend, come on." 

One of these days (I fear) kids in school won't be so nice if someone is crying or hurt or has an accident.  Kids that "don't know better" will be the ones picking and making fun.   And nothing makes my blood boil hotter than seeing a kid who is hurting....caused even more pain by someone who has possibly gone through the same things themselves at one point.  But why don't those kids know better, when they should know that it's never OK to treat someone like that.  Are parents to blame?  Other/older kids?  TV shows and movies?    I think know deep down that kids want to be kind, compassionate, be a good helper and just make friends.  Why don't we encourage that a little more?  I know the influence I have on my kids.  I know they are deeply caring little girls.  I just hope that my examples stay with them and that maybe their examples will help guide other kids. 

Comfort Zone

Yesterday's trick or treat was a bust.  It rained for far too long and was just too cold.  The girls napped, I caught up on some much needed photo organization and I about froze as I passed out candy to the kids crazy brave enough to face the elements.  All was not lost, however, as we woke the girls up and took them to the annual Lake Mohawk Halloween party following trick or treat.  We have never been in the 2 years we've lived here, but thought it would be a good way for the kids to be able to dress up and see other kids in costume as well.  The party itself was pretty casual, basically neighbors standing around trying to warm up, eating pizza & snacks and they had a small costume contests (in which Maya won 2nd place for the 4-6 year olds--the bride, front and center). 

 

 

And all would have been fine, had I not opened my big mouth. 

 

The girls' pre-school teacher lives in our development and they were excited to see her when we arrived.  About 3 minutes into our conversation I found myself agreeing to take over the Halloween party next year and head the committee (see point above where I mentioned this is the FIRST time we've even attended this function).  Our realtor was standing with me and said "sure, I'll help you"....and quickly their teacher was off to let the current committee leader know her replacement had been found.  What, wait!  What just happened?  I had the opportunity to back out, but I again agreed to do it. 

 

Now, I am a pretty social person, when I am in MY comfort zone.  People have different size zones.  Some thrive in a professional sports-size arena and others would rather exist peacefully in what lies within the tips of their outstretched fingers.  I am somewhere in the middle...,well, maybe closer to the smaller end of the spectrum.  Quite honestly, until I feel I have "control" over something, I often times get a little anxious with something new.  I don't consider myself to be a big "joiner" and certainly not a "social climber" by any stretch of the imagination.  As this lady was talking about what all to do for the party, soliciting donors (I HATE asking people for money), coordinating prizes, food, writing articles and confirming advertising (OK, I like to organize and write) I did start to get a little nervous about what I had gotten myself into. 

 

A few weeks ago at the Y while waiting for Teagan's gymnastics class to start, I got into a conversation with an older gentleman who was a retired school teacher from the local high school.  Turns out he taught social studies (I was a history major) and we hit it off, talking for 10 minutes or more.  He said "you know, I can tell you are a people person.  You have a very warm personality, kind eyes and I bet people just love to talk to you.  You have a gift, you know?  Not many people are a natural like that." 

 

In the two-plus years we've lived here, I have made a handful of new friends & acquaintances, but at times I still feel very isolated from the great groups of friends I have other places.  So sure, why not, I'll take on the party and head it up.  What have I go to lose?  My circle of friends won't get much bigger just hanging in my back yard all summer.  The girls will certainly have opportunities to do more with other kids if I become more involved in the groups that have activities with their peers.  I just have to take the attitude that it's nothing more than a little organization.  A chance to get together a bunch of kids, feed them some pizza and hand out some prizes, get together with neighbors and have a good time.  A chance to be the people-person that I am.  And even though I am still a little nervous, I feel my zone becoming just a tiny bit bigger.  

Dissapointment

The gorgeous 80+ degree weather of the past week has left us.  Bummer.  And it is now replaced by the 41 degree, rainy, windy onslaught of ICK that will stick around for another 5 days.  Double bummer.   And today is Trick or Treat.  Major.  Bummer.

This is the first year that all three girls have really understood Halloween and are really into Trick or Treat.  Grandma made their Halloween costumes and they've been wearing them all week since they were delivered on Tuesday. 

And today we woke up to:

What you can't see are the constant drops of rain.  What you can't feel is the biting wind cut through you.  And what the girls can't do is trick or treat today.  I hate to be disappointed and I hate to feel like my kids are disappointed.  And it's made worse by things that are out of our control.   So in anticipation of what might not happen today, I tried to compensate by having a "rainy day picnic" for lunch.

I held out as long as I could, hoping to see some clearing in the bands of rain that would allow us to get at least a half-hour in of pan-handling to the neighbors.  But not seeing much hope on the radar we laid them down for a much needed nap.  And actually they seemed to look right past the fact that the HUGE bowl of candy was out on the island and other neighborhood kids were starting to arrive at our door.  It actually seemed they weren't disappointed at all. 

I know there will be many times again when I can't fight off disappointment with a carpet picnic in the middle of the living room floor.  But hopefully they will be wise enough to realize that in life a little rain will fall.  And winds will blow.  And sometimes it's just not that big of a disappointment after all. 

Pinterest Junkie

Hello.  My name is Emily and I am a Pinterest Junkie.

The person that dreamed up Pinterest in a GENIUS!  In  my "free time" during the past 9+ months I have managed to comprise a Pinterest account consisting of 52 boards, 1364 pins and 54 followers.  I use my Pinterest powers for good, not evil.  I swear!  I have reorganized several areas of the house, tried some amazing (and some not to great) recipes, improved my fall wardrobe and made 18 sets of tile coasters and 4 tulle tu-tu's to donate to our church craft festival this weekend.  I won't say what else, but I handed off fabric today to my mom to whip up some crafts....that some of you may be getting for Christmas.  I have our master bathroom rennovation practically all planned out (for next spring) and the back yard/deck update ideas are shaping up (for 2015).  YIPPEE! 

My most recent Pinterest success was a reorganization of the girls' bedroom closets.  With Christmas around the corner and the girls getting older, I am in purge mode of toys, books, clothes and "stuff" that no longer is age appropriate, fits or that works.  After a brief pass through the toy room (trust me, a more detailed one to follow when I don't have 3 sets of eyes going "WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH THAT, THAT IS MY FAVORITE!!!"), my next move was upstairs to the bedrooms.  3 bins, 2 boxes and a bag of clothes, books & toys when to consignment and/or donation center.  But there is this ever-present need for me to create organization out of clutter and make it easier for the girls to take charge of their stuff and be helpers to put it away when asked. 

A moment of pride as I demonstrate last week's efforts:

Teagan's closet  before

Teagan's closet after.  And she was such a big help!

Maya & Riley's closet before

Maya & Riley's closet after

(And as an added bonus, the closets got completely wiped out and swept, including baseboards and shelves!)  

If I could complete amazing clothing ensembles, produce 5-star quality food, be creative enough to invent age-appropriate crafts for 19 pre-schoolers and afford no-dollar limit home renovations or dream vacations then I'd have no need for Pinterest.  So, the world needs junkies like me, I guess.  Happy to help!

Losing sleep

I have come to the realization that life up to this point has attempted to prepare me for having children, especially when it comes to the sleep you will lose over them.

In the teen/early 20 years of high school and college there is the partying studying that keeps us up late into the night.  Graduation!  And then it's reality.  Finding a job (and in this day and age worry about keeping a job), finding "the one"...and then keeping up with "the one".  Planning weddings.  Buying a home.  Adjusting to pressures, worrying about the little and big things....all will cause countless nights of sleep.

And then comes baby.  And for the better part of about 40 weeks you can plan to lose sleep as the growing, sweet little peanut(s) make themselves known to every internal part of your body and make it difficult to find a comfortable position to sleep.  And when you can....there are repeated wake-up calls for the bathroom.  Ta-da, magic day arrives and you hold your little miracle....and the sleepless night of feedings or maybe colic have you up.  And the "helpers" go home and the daddies go back to work and you are there in a mind-numbing, sleepless fog.  For what seems like ever.  (Actually, on a side note all 3 of my girls were wonderful infants, and all slept through the night by 8 weeks).  But then comes the teething.  Or double ear infections and stuffy noses and wet coughs that have you up.  And very soon there will come the friends and the sleepovers and then the boyfriend/girlfriend dramas.  The worry about them dating....and driving.....and arriving home safely.  And then going off to college or their own apartments where you have no clue what they are doing.....and I am wondering if those years I will ever get any sleep. 

Somewhere in the first part of our lives our bodies and minds are conditioned to lay awake and night and ponder the "what ifs" and the "unknowns".  Some of us toss and turn, others make mental lists of pros and cons and some of us just pray.  Wonder.  Worry.   To me, nothing is more of an unknown or a what-if than our kids.  We have to give them just enough leverage and freedom to figure out this thing called life, so that decades from now when they are parents themselves they have been conditioned to lose a little sleep.  When they are babies we have to let them "cry it out" on occasion in order to know how to self-soothe.  When they are teenagers is about asserting rules given in love for their safety and well-being while letting them develop a sense of self.  As they enter into adulthood it's about letting go and trusting that everything you have done will prepare them for the rest of their lives.  

But that doesn't mean you don't worry.  And toss and turn.  And pray.  And you hope that if your phone rings in the middle of the night for a reason they can't sleep it's something you can help with or at least listen to and remind them that for as long as they need you, you will be there.  Losing sleep.  All because you love them. 

Book fair!

Man, I was SOOO excited to open Maya & Riley's backpacks today and find the flier for the Scholastic Book Fair.  YIPPEE!!  When I was in school I loved the book fair.  Or Santa's Secret workshop.  Or anything where you got to take your hard-earned money to school and shop.  WOO HOO!!!  I love books and I love to read......and the girls love books and LLLOOOOOVVVVVEEEEEEE to read.  I was practically giddy today and was trying to get the girls excited and they were looking at me and finally Riley said "what, a fair?!  Will there be rides?!!?!!!  Ok, so apparently the word fair stuck in her mind a little more than the word book. 

I would give anything to be able to sit, uninterrupted and dive into a good book.  That is what I love about vacation, the ability to lay around the pool or beach for hours on end with a cool drink, soaking up the sun and getting lost in someone else's world.  Hey, I loved bed-rest during my pregnancy with the twins....I read like 3-4 books a week for about 11 weeks.  Of course that was followed by a very long dry-spell of about 3 years where the only books I read that were longer than 8 pages were either "What to Expect the 1st year" and "Potty training for Dummies." 

Not only my girls, but I know several others who's parents have read to them practically from the womb.  It instills such a love of reading, a basis for a good vocabulary, interest in trying new things and I am quite certain that is where my kids get their over-active imaginations.  Just this morning Riley wanted to snuggle in bed and read with me first thing.  They have books that are memorized and they can "read" themselves.  And what they don't know, I love to stand in another room and listen to them make up the stories.  I lose track of the number of books we read in a week and sometimes I find it difficult to make them put books down and go do something else. 

So, off I go here shortly to peruse the online lists.  Christmas is coming and I will forever buy my kids books before silly toys any day. 

Happy reading! 

Missing out

Is it just me, or do you feel like you are missing out?  Missing out on something you do not have.  Something you want or need, or think you want or need.  Is it just me, or does anyone else have no clue what is missing?

Admittedly, I we have a wonderful life.  Four beautiful children.  Wonderful families.  Supportive friends.  Strong faith.  Reasonably good health.  Comfortable home.  Ability to make a good living.  Freedoms and liberties.  Hobbies that interest us.  And so many other blessings, far too many to name here.  So why on earth would I feel like something is missing?

The past few months I have had this unexplainable feeling that I am missing something in my life.  Not necessarily our lives, but something personal and meaningful to me.  I keep thinking of the blessing I have listed above and I consider the time it takes to manage all of that and I wonder what on earth could be left...and if I had "it" where would I fit "it" in?  My children, husband and home come first and foremost in my life.  That is the reason we decided before the girls even arrived that I would stay home to raise them full time.  I am so lucky that we are able to do that, for me and for them.  So it's not necessarily that I want to go back to work right now.  I would find it far too difficult to work around the girls' transportation schedule with school and I feel it would be far more frustrating than it's worth.  Because in spite of the days I have hair-pulling frustration, I cherish the time I spend with the girls.  It's not like I want to go back to school to change careers, I am not using the history degree I have as it is.  I hesitate to add something too drastic to our lives at this point.  I can already see the impact just the addition of school 3 days/week has had for our family.  Teagan was about 95% potty trained as of Labor Day.  However in the past 6 weeks she had regressed to the point of having multiple accidents a day and at times outright refusing to even try.  And I feel partly to blame because I am pulled in one more direction than I was before, and it disrupted our routine, and I feel like Teagan is the one suffering (kind of a strong word here)....but more I feel my floors and furniture may be suffering!  I love having the days to take them to the park when it's 70 degrees in October or to be able to participate in their school activities and take them to gymnastics  So, again, I hesitate to make a change at this point. 

I hate to say I am looking for something more fulfilling.  I guess I've been more frustrated I can't figure out what I want.   Someone told me not so long ago that what we need the most is often right in front of us, it just takes that "ah ha" moment to realize it.  I guess I have to realize there will never be a "good" time to introduce too much change to our lives, so if I am looking for something, I need to quit making excuses and just figure "it" out already. 

This week's course work in the James bible series we are studying with Beth Moore may have started to deliver a little insight and get me closer to that "ah ha" moment.   Beth writes "...all of us, no matter how much we have, desire something we don't.  Something that doesn't seem unreasonable.  Something that others in eyeshot appear to have."  As we begin our study on the 4th chapter of James, we focus on the inherent dangers of desire in our lives and the negative effect it has on our relationship with God.  Hey, it's not like I am missing out or looking for bags of money, a larger house, fancier cars......  We are asked to explore why desires & cravings resonate with us....and my answer that I wrote lay right in front of me in blue ink on the page....because of what I long for, I am cautious of what else in my life will suffer because I want both.  "Have you asked God?", Beth challenges.  At this point, I have to finally admit what I know is missing.  I want more free time/me time, but then I give up time with my family.  I want more time to blog, catch up on scrap booking or reading, and then the laundry piles up and I see dust on the furniture.  I want an extra 30 min/day to exercise...so I give up sleep...or shove it in between time in the office and making dinner.  Dear Lord, is that too much to ask?

"AH HA"....and it finally hit me this morning at 5:45 when the house was quiet and I am alone in the basement working out..... if I had only given up the worry and looking for "it" these past several months I would have realized what "it" was.  I don't have to make a desperate, deliberate change to our lives or schedules.  The time I spend each day/week looking for what I want could be spent on the simple things listed above that I know I like to do.  The things that do help fulfill me and make me a happier, more well rounded person.  A better mommy and wife.    A lighter spirit willing to accept the goodness God has given me and even more thankful for the blessing listed above. 

"AAAHHHHHH----HHHHAAAAAAA"......today I have already accomplished two of the things I wished I had more time to do, working out and blogging.  And maybe I'll make it a point to do that at least 5 days this week.  And maybe next week I'll let a little bit of the "guilt" go of spending time with the girls and doing loads of laundry and call the babysitter to see if she wants to come for an extra day for a few hours and I'll disappear into my office and I'll knock out a whole bunch of scrap booking. 

So if you're missing something, take the time to figure out what "it" is for you.  I hope it's something simple and you have the means to be able to make it work for you.  And maybe "letting go and letting God" is all it takes to make you realize you had it all along. 

Wishing you a Blessed day!

Navigating the school years

Every morning when the girls wake up the question is the same.  "What day is it today?"  If my response is Tuesday, Thursday or Friday, the answer is met with cheers and "yea, school today!!!"  I love that Maya and Riley are so into school.  They are excited when we get dressed, grab our coats and backpacks and head out the door.  They practically jump out of the truck and literally run up the stairs all the way to their class room.  They have brought home countless projects, have begun writing their names and other words.  They have already had their first after-school play date at the park with a new friend and been invited to their first birthday party.  I am happy to report, that in nearly six weeks we've not had any incidents at school.  Or have we? 

Most of the insecurities about the school year seem to me coming from me.  The first 2 weeks of school their teacher had made several comments/observations about the twins lagging behind in terms of following some specific instructions for their daily "centers", being very quiet and introverted in the classroom,  talking about how much they've had to work with them on some things and even questioned Riley's hearing.  (Trust me, she can hear just fine....sometimes she doesn't listen so well).  I find that the older I get the more receptive I have become to constructive criticism of myself.....but I am finding it a little harder to take when it comes to my girls.  I reminded her that they are literally the youngest in their class, they are first-timers to school and that I wanted them to take the opportunity to learn to do it for themselves.  I have volunteered to come in and observe them if need be, but I want them to develop a foundation for school on their own with the guidance of their teachers and the bonds of their new friends.  (I have come to the realization that I think she has very high expectations for all of her students, which can be a good thing.) 

They obviously love the atmosphere and spend hours talking about their day and their friends. They "play school" on the days we are home, pretend to be different kids from their class and have offered to practice writing their letters.  I get a daily run-down of who-wore-what, who played together and who was the weather person, flag holder, duck leader, etc.  Last Friday their "play" turned to the comment that Ashlynn had taken Riley's glue from her pencil box, Riley had to borrow Jason's, Ashlynn didn't give it back and now Riley had no glue.  Well, trying to get to the bottom of this I found the story more turned around....and wasn't really sure if it was Riley's glue that had come up missing or Eleni's.... or if any glue was even missing.  Somewhere Brianna got involved and then Ava.....oh, "what a mess" as one of them said.  I was telling a friend about their story and she suggested I call their teacher.  Huh?!?!  Over glue?  I was more interested if it was a very imaginative role-play scenario or if there was really a glue-thief among the morning pre-K at the Catholic school.  Was she serious I call the teacher?  On a weekend?  Should I have been more concerned about the $0.50 bottle of glue?  Here I had spent days contemplating whether I should perhaps taking Riley to an Ear, Nose, Throat specialist to have her hearing checked....but I didn't know I should call out a 5-year old over glue!!!   Well, I am happy to report I checked Riley's pencil box this morning and "Glue-Gate 2012" can be put to rest.....Elmer's was present and accounted for. 

Their teacher has praised their very advanced memorization skills, complimented their fine-motor and says they are a joy to have in class....even if they are still very quiet.  I can totally see a difference in their personalities and their level of independence.  I can only hope that their love of learning environments continues for many, many, MANY years to come.  It would be great if the biggest thing we have to worry about over the next 13-18 years is glue.  Maybe they can help me figure out this school thing.  After all....it's been quite awhile since I've done it myself. 

One-on-One

Well, it seems like Maya & Riley have been getting a lot of air-time lately what with their birthday and starting school and all.  And rightly so, these are big events.   As usual, there is Teagan....bringing up the rear and trying desperately to be one of the big girls.  I love spending time with all of my girls, and when I can I try to make special individual time with each of them, doing what they like to do.  So these past three and a half weeks I've had the chance to have Teagan all to myself for a few hours 3 days a week.  WHAT A SCREAM!!  I always new she was funny, but this kid is HYSTERICAL when it's one-on-one. 

So, what have we been doing?!  We'll we love to shop together...and she's amazed when she gets the cart all to herself and I let her carry shopping bags through the store and she gets to pick from the  Target dollar bins.  (yea!)  She sticks to me like glue for about the first 20 minutes we are home after dropping Maya & Riley off, but then you almost see the light click and she's like hey, wait a minute......all of this.......is MINE.......for the next 2 WHOLE hours. 

We've enjoyed taking walks which is good for fresh air & gets Mommy's work out in.

 

 

 

We take a Mommy & Me gymnastics class on Thursday and she's becoming quite the expert on the balance beam. 

And the latest in our big girl adventures came just last night/today.....when Teagan decided she didn't need a crib, that climbing out is WAY more fun.  In the course of an hour last night, she climbed out of her crib twice.  She likes "buddies" in bed with her (at count last week she had 21, so over the weekend about 10 left).  But I could tell last night she had used the remaining pile as her escape route.  So I took all but four of her favorites and put them on the floor by her bed.  At 10 I checked on her and she was still awake and asking for her buddies, but I said they were having a sleep-over on the floor.  Not another word.  When I went back in at 11, ALL buddies were back in the crib....and so was Teagan.  Geez, give me a heart attack!  I can't be worrying about her safety, so today I converted the crib to the toddler bed.  And a "BIG GIRL" was born. 

 



 

 



I am learning so much more about Teagan as a person and what makes her so wonderful and so unique. I always knew she was bright (learning from her big sisters) but I am amazed at what she knows and what she comes up with...and what she tries to get away with!!  We have been doing a lot of special, fun things and I am sure this will be the age of some of her earliest memories. I hope our days together are some of those earliest memories. 

Unless.....

My girls are obsessed with the movie "The Lorax" of late.  I think in about a 48 hr time frame they viewed it 8 times.  Thank goodness Aunt Carolann to the rescue and got it for Maya & Riley for their birthday!  My favorite line of the movie:

"Unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot, nothing's going to get better.  It's not."

I am thinking about all the people in this world that care.  That care an awful lot!  I am talking about the people that do amazing things every day for the good of everyone around them.  Doctors and nurses, fire and police, teachers, coaches, clergy....and even down to those of us that volunteer our time and talents, that spend time with the less fortunate, those in pain....or just those ordinary people that do extraordinary things each and every day.  I think in the history of the world, to be someone that cares an awful lot, you are a member of the military.  To give of your time, your freedom, your life for the selfless sacrifice of others....to put your life on the line every day.....to me that is someone that MORE than cares. 

Today marks a very sad, hard, extraordinary day.  A day to remember and honor one of the most caring people I have every had the pleasure of knowing.  Three years have passed since our friend Damon gave his life to protect the very freedom we sometimes take for granted.  Growing up with the Winkleman family as neighbors, members of our church and our "family" we were blessed to be in the company of such caring people.  You never had to worry about someone being on your side, they always were.  You were always welcome in their home.  They were always one of the first to answer a call for help.  I remember countless times playing with Jason, Nathan and Damon at their house.  We'd go over their grandma's house who lived next door for warm-from-the-oven oatmeal cookies.  MAN, I love those cookies....I still use her recipe to this day.  You always knew where you stood with their family.  You always knew the sense of pride from being a military family.  So it's not surprising that all of the boys followed in their family footsteps and joined the military.  I remember numerous times growing up of the community support when Wink would be deployed.....and then Jason....and Nate off for his service....and then Damon.  Special church services were held.  The community would come together to offer support and help to Pat and the boys.  We were a community of caring people because of the care their family always gave.  It was time to give back.

Three years ago today we were at the Winkleman house for a celebration.  A beautiful, sunny afternoon with kids playing in the yard, good food and great company.  And how all of that can change in an instant.  I remember in vivid detail learning about Damon.  And in that moment knowing that life would forever be changed for their family so many people that care for their family.  Damon was such a caring person.  Funny, energetic...infectious laughter and comic relief!  It just didn't seem possible that he could be gone. 

Nothing seemed to make sense.   And certainly nothing seemed better for any of us.  But after some time, you realize his sacrifice does make it better for us.  And for the countless men and women that have made that same sacrifice, it is better for us.  And those that continue to serve because they care it is better.  For us. 

Damon lead the life he was destined to live.  What a good soul.  A truly caring person that made all of our lives better.  So today, in honor of Damon and in respect and appreciation of the entire Winkleman family and all of the other people in this world that care, thank you from the bottom of our hearts for making our lives better.

Because you cared, Damon......


 

Gifts

Believe it or not, I've done some Christmas shopping this week.  YES PEOPLE, Christmas is coming and even though we aren't even to Halloween or Thanksgiving this gal has got to get crackin'.  With 4 kids, a husband, 6 parents, 4 nieces, 1 nephew, 2 grandparents, 3 teachers and a whole host of other extras, it takes some time to plan, browse, shop, etc.  So now is about the time of year I make a spreadsheet of who I need to buy for, how much to spend, gift ideas and I check it all off as I go.  Yup, another list.   Gifts are on the brain for the next 3 months...

This week, in particular, I was reminded of the gifts that are all around us every day.  I am very fortunate to be studying Beth Moore's Bible series on James this fall.  I am surprised at how this study is hitting me at a time when I really need it and it seems she is speaking just to me.  (Those of you that have studied with Beth I am sure feel the same way!). 

The first part of the week we began in the very beginning of James' letter..."Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance.  Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything."  (James 1: 2-4).   Beth challenged us to list trials we are under, hardships that we are facing.  I thought for a minute, tried to come up with something that was a "trial" for me....and then my mind started to wander to a few family members, a friend and a member of the church that are all experiencing real trials right now be it of health, personal crisis or sorrow.  How they all see to be so composed, so strong....so complete.  I had to think "hey, maybe I don't have it so bad"....and then you realize they can be so amazing in the face of something so great, how can a person not pick themselves up by the boot straps and keep it together.  There are people I know that just get bogged down by what seems to be so trivial, but I forget I don't know the whole story. 

By day five of the study we read James 1: 17 "Every generous act and every perfect gift is from above..."   We were asked to list the gifts of our lives.  Maybe not so surprisingly, that list was much easier to make than the list of trials.  Not one gift on my list (other than buying our home) was of material worth.  It was more about the relationships, the memories, the lessons learned.  The times when I was faced with a deeper trial, and the ability to find something within myself to work through it and grow as a person and in my faith. 

We have gifts all around us, every day.  Maybe we don't know it.  Maybe we forget.  Maybe we get lost among everyday life.  Our relationships, talents, time, freedom & liberties, our ability to take time out and dive deeper into our faith without fear of religious persecution....all gifts.  All great gifts. 

Irregardless of what is wrapped and under the tree this Christmas season, I hope that the gifts that matter most to our kids, family and friends are the gifts we give because of who we are. The loving memories we create for our children out of the traditions we celebrate, the ability to be there in times of crisis and pain for our family and friends, the fact that we know those same people would be there for us in a heartbeat.  I am so grateful for all the gifts in my life.  

If you don't realize how blessed by gifts YOU are, I hope you will take the time to list all of your gifts as well. 

The passing of time

Time is a funny thing.  Even though it may remain constant, how we pass the time or spend our time varies.  It's odd how the same hour can either fly by when you are having fun, or seem to drag on indefinitely in the middle of uncertainty. 

I have absolutely no idea where the last four years have gone.  September 4, 2008 at 7:49 am and 7:49 am (yes, the SAME time), we welcomed Maya & Riley into this world and into our lives.  The past four years have been a crazy whirlwind of joy and, at times, insanity.  The girls have brought so much love into our family. 

So, imagine my surprise when today, at 8:49 am I had to take my little girls to school for the very first time.  Yes, on their 4th birthday they got to go to Pre-K.  How did that happen?  Where did my tiny little babies go.  How did they grow up so fast?

 

Maya Delaney: 9/4/08

 

 

 

 

        Maya:  1st day of Pre-K, 9/4/12

 

Riley Pilar: 9/4/08

                                                                   

Riley: 1st day of Pre-K, 9/4/12

 

 

The girls did well.  No tears....from anyone, even Mommy!  (Although when I asked the girls last night what they wanted to be when they grew up and Maya said "Just stay little" and Riley said "Be your little baby, Mommy", it kinda does tug at your heart strings a little.  They may have been a little unsure when we were getting ready, but at the mention it was time to go they were out the door and into the truck.  Backpacks on when we arrived and in they marched.  Hardly a look in our direction once they hung up their backpacks, got their milk and started coloring.  Hey, they had this down pat. 

Once back at home I couldn't help but think back to 2008 when I laid in my hospital room waiting on the girls to be brought into me.  I could not even have imagined at that moment in time just how much they would consume every part of my life.  In a good way, I promise!!!!!  I just couldn't believe how time had flown!  On the flipside, that 2 1/2 hrs I had to wait at home til I could go pick them up seemed to drag on forever.  Just wondering what they were doing, how they were doing....and I couldn't wait to see them and hear all about it.

I am sure the next 14 years will fly by and before I know it I'll be taking them off to college.  (Ahhhh......let's not get ahead of myself).  I am so proud of my big girls and all they are and all they will become!  Here we go.....marching into the future! 

 

Happy Birthday Maya & Riley

Stuff

We have Too.  Much.  Stuff.  Waaaayyyyyy too much.  And no matter how much I try to control the vast amounts of stuff that lives in this house.....it multiplies.  Seriously, every night it grows.   Laundry, toys, books, craft supplies, hunting & fishing paraphernalia it can get crazy.  The kitchen island bar is the dumping ground for mail, craft projects, "treasures" as it's right inside the front door.  I am in constant purge mode.  Clothes, books & toys that are out grown get passed down, sold or donated.  I try to keep my closets purged of barely worn or wrong size clothes.  The girls color dozens of color pages a day.  I supposed I am a bad mom that I don't save every "masterpiece", but there are some special ones that do get tucked away. Otherwise when they aren't lookin'....in the trash they go!! I can only imagine the influx once the twins start pre-K in a few weeks.  Bill's hunting & fishing room....well, that doesn't get touched and thank goodness it's locked up and I don't have to see it, or it would drive me bonkers!  The garage.....oh my.......the horrible garage that we seem to clean every 3 months, add more racks & storage and vow to keep maintained.....and tools get dumped back without being put away, Bill's literature and sample totes get discarded when it's time for him to clean out his car, sidewalk chalk, bikes, & bubbles pile up.  This DOES drive me bonkers when I try to pull the truck into the garage and run into half the STUFF that is there.  Then we have to spend hours on a nice weekend afternoon trying to clean it back out again.   Thank goodness the girls have a designated toy room in the basement....so when the end of the day comes and I just don't feel like making sure it's all picked up....the stuff stays where it is until the next day.  At least if it's in the basement, I don't have to look at it.

Here is a picture of the toyroom taken recently.  That thing can go from clean to destroyed in 60 seconds flat.  The toyroom is adjacent to my home office.  There is a bathroom and family room off of this room as well.  So when I need to work at home for a bit, the girls are perfectly content to play away.  I am trying to work at being more diligent at having them help pick stuff up.  And they do good work and know where STUFF goes when it's time to get down to business.  But usually it ends up an unbalanced work load and one of the girls picks up more while the other 2 wander off and get distracted by a book or a game. 

And I sit here in the office blogging while the girls are in the room playing right now.  However I look around this office and Bill's "amazing" filing system of piles of papers and samples thrown all over the floor and it's no wonder they feel it's acceptable to leave stuff lying around.   I used to be a "save-every-scrap-of-paper-that -meant-anything or save-every-gift-ever-given" person.  Not any more.  Purge, discard, donate....whatever it takes to get this place manageable.   I have probably spent hundreds of dollars in the past year buying more shelves, storage bins & units just to house this stuff.  Bill said I'd have saved a lot of money if we just had less stuff.  Yup!

I am encouraging the girls to start making decisions of their own on things it's time to pass down.  They love to give things to their cousin "Baby Kate" or a friend's daughter "Baby Jasmyn."  Every time I get rid of something as long as I tell them it went to one of those two, they are really fine with that!!   So today I have plans to toss out that Hungry Hippos game that is missing like 1/2 of the white marbles and that puzzle that was given to us that is missing a piece right from the center.  Seriously, they've got enough other stuff, what's a few games? 

I recently repinned an item on Pintrest (seriously addicted to Pintrest) about having your kids collect unused/needed toys, books, games & clothes around the holiday and on Christmas Eve they should be placed in a large bag and left under the tree for Santa to collect and pass onto other kids that aren't as fortunate as we are.  What a great idea!  I wonder if I could come up with a holiday every month that required someone to stop by and pick up bags of unused items?  In addition to getting rid of some of this stuff, I hope its a good tool to help the girls learn to think of others and to begin to ascertain the difference of what is really meaningful to them and what is just stuff. 

So the twins birthday is just 2 weeks away.  They also start school the same week.  I can only imagine all of the new stuff that will work its way into our house that week.  If anyone is short on "stuff", I'd be happy to pass it along.  Otherwise I'll just keep plugging away here.....

So my kids DO listen to me

It feels like I talk to a brick wall some days.  Most days.  I repeat questions and instructions... well.... repeatedly between my kids and my husband.  Does anyone around this joint ever listen to me?  Seriously, brick walls....every single one of them!  And I wonder if I'll ever get through to any of them.

And then there's the "ah ha" moment, when you know the DO listen to you. 

Take for example Teagan's new found phrase....."damnit".  Oh boy.  We never worried about the twins spewing foul language, they just never did it.  Here with Teagan lately she is a little sponge... and then a repeat performer.  A few months ago a dinner she dropped her fork (or spoon or cup or whatever) and just blurts out "damnit it".  Oh crap, here we go.  A few minor finger points....as I constant remind Daddy to watch his mouth...but then he insists the kids are around me much more throughout the day so it must have come from me.  Whatever.  We didn't make a big deal, hoping it was just an isolated incident.  Fast forward a few weeks in the midst of our potty training with Teagan.  All was going very well, picked up on it so fast.  Still trying to get the hang of "#2" one day I was sitting at the kitchen island typing and email and I could smell her standing behind me. 

Me:  "Oh no, TT, you are supposed to tell mommy when you have to potty." 
Teagan: "Mommy, I have to potty."
Me:  "Well, that's obvious.  Let's go get you cleaned up."
And while in the bathroom taking care of "business" I say "TT, you need to go potty like a big girl so we don't have accidents in your big girl undies."
Teagan, looking at the mess, "oh, damnit". 

Oh, so THIS is when she listens. 

But there are the times you know the kids listen to what you say in a good way.  I love the way Maya will tell the girls "Oh, that's a great job sweetie", because that is something I say to them a lot.  Or Riley likes to say "That's a great job Mommy, you worked so hard on that."  "Oh be careful Mommy, I hold your hand" is Teagan's copycat phrase to what I say.  This morning the twins woke at 6:37 am (ugh) and crawled in bed with me.  Their imaginations are going crazy these days and they are always in role-play mode.  I was half in-and-out of sleep and I hear them talking about exercise.  "Why do you exercise" Riley asks Maya.  Maya responds "oh, I want to be healthy and strong for my family and set a good example for you girls."  This is a proud moment because I know somewhere along the way I have said this to them and she's remembered.

I realize what we say (and do) affects everything in our children's lives.  I am glad they repeat phrases (most of the time) of the positive things I say to them or around them.  I am glad my response to the exercise question was about the lasting effects of exercise and not "I am excited to finally lose the last of the baby weight from 4 years ago and want to fit into my skinny jeans this fall."  I want their view of exercise to be positive, not to keep up with societies demands that they should be thin or fit into skinny jeans.  I want them to realize when they work hard on a coloring or craft project that their efforts are recognized.  I want them to know its a good thing to praise a job well done.  And that I don't just yell "be careful" because I don't want to clean up blood, but because I am honestly showing concern for their safety. 

My kids do listen and I know this.  I also know they are kids and that often times when I tell them something or ask them something that they are engrossed in something far more important, just like I am at times.  I hope they listen more often to the good things I say, and forget about the times those "doozies" come flying out of my mouth. 

Confessions of a Bad Blogger

Hello, my name is Emily and I am bad blogger busy mom.  With 4 kids, 3 houses, 1 needy husband, a full-time SAHM job and 2 part time jobs....it's no wonder I only seem to have time to blog every 5 weeks or so.  Let's just say I'll probably never make a living at it, no matter how much I enjoy every minute of it.  I am a great list maker, practically can't go a day without checking something off my to-do list.  Maybe I just need to literally add blogging to the list, and then it'll get done. 

I wake early every morning and mentally go through my daily check list, usually while in the shower because it's literally the only free 10 minutes I have to myself every day.  There are days like today when I am totally "on" (in spite of skipping my 5 am work out) and before 8am I had 2 loads of laundry going, 5 of the beds stripped and 2 remade, kids fed (although still in their jammies).  So today I have to go to the post office and pharmacy (2 of the girls favorite places since they get stickers at one and suckers at the other) so at least they are happy to come along.  Then it's more laundry, remake the remaining beds, lunch, naptime which means I can concentrate on online bank transfers and bill payments, emails to the corporate office for Bill, some filing, that 5 am workout that I missed needs to be rescheduled.  The girls want to bake cookies and there is dinner to plan.  Somewhere in there I should spend time with my kids.  I started some craft projects towards our church's annual fall festival and I am really excited about them so I'd like to spend a little time working on those today.  So, blogging can wait.  Bad Blogger!!!!  (And not to mention the fact that I am almost a year and a half behind on scrapbooking.......BAD SCRAPPER!!!!!!!). 

No, just a busy mom. 

I love having blogging to turn to when I need to clear my head, air my thoughts or brag about my kids.  I love having other bloggers to read and see their perspective.  It's funny (coincidental maybe) that often times I blog in my head a really great thought I have while going about my day (and of course never have 10 minutes to sit down and type it out), and on more than on occasion an old high-school friend Jessica who writes an amazing blog will post something that I have totally been thinking.  It's like she can read my thoughts.  She's also a busy SAHM and sounds like our days could easily be traded.  Her recent posts about raising kids and scrapbooking have really hit home with me.

So I vow to be a better blogger.  For myself.  For my sanity.  For my husband who encourages me and for my kids who will someday be busy women themselves and perhaps find a little humor and maybe a little help in knowing what it's like to do it all enough to get by. 

My to-do list might not all get done today.  Probably those "luxury" items like crafting, scrapping or maybe a few chapters in a book I just started.  But, at least blogging is getting crossed of my list today.  Better blogger. 

Test Drive

Today, I took the girls to Canton and we went for a test drive.  Time to get some new wheels.....for them!

The twins have outgrown their tricycles and honestly haven't shown much interest in them all summer.  Gotta practice that bike riding, so I decided we'd go shopping for big girl bikes as an early birthday present so they could have several months of use before it gets too cold. 

Growing up in the country, riding bikes was the ONLY way to get places when you were a kid.  Before we were able to ride solo on the country roads, we had to learn to ride bikes in our gravel driveway.  We'd ride up and down, throwing stones, turning around near the silo by the barn.  Once we got brave enough we'd ride down to the road....and occasionally if no one caught us, we'd ride about 40 yards down the road and turn around in the barn driveway near the hayshed and high-tail-it back to the yard before we got busted.  There were the dare-devil days when we'd use bailer twine to tie our red Radio Flyer wagon onto the back of our pink banana-seat Huffy bike and try to convince each other that riding in the  wagon was safe.....not too often did we have takers for back there.  We practiced our hand signals (yup, in the driveway) so those riders behind us knew when we were turning right or left.  That was about as much safety as you had to worry about, no use for bike helmets or knee pads & wrist guards back then.   When we had  convinced our parents we were old enough to be trusted along, we were set free to cruise the block.  Riding around the block for us meant about a mile trek and often times we'd cut through the tractor path in the fields when the ride was too long.  There were only 5 houses on our block, and 3 of them were family, so you'd have to stop over at Aunt Beth's house or at Grandma's house and check in.  (It's obvious now that as soon as we left the driveway a call was made to the respective houses to be on the lookout for wild kids running the streets of the neighborhood).  When I got my first job at the general store of the campground around the corner from our house (I was probably 13 or so), I'd have to depend on my own 2 legs and 2 wheels to get me there and back. 

It's crazy to now think of my girls learning to ride their bikes.  Of course safety is obviously a bit more of a concern these days, because we were NOT allowed to leave Toys R Us until all 3 had bike helmets!  For those of you that have been to our house, you know that learning to ride in our driveway will be a little difficult.  Once they master the small flat area we have, we'll have to graduate to loading everyone up in the truck and driving to the walking trail or the paved beach parking lot.  (Although I am willing to bet money that one of them will come up with the bright idea to tie the wagon on the back of a bike and try and convince the others to give it a go).

Ready to roll

Riley on her new Strawberry Shortcake bike

Maya with her new Barbie bike

Teagan is perfectly content with her hand-me-down Radio Flyer trike!!!

Famous Last Words

We've all done it....said things that within minutes of leaving our mouths, have opened us up for impending.....doom(?).   

"I am looking forward to setting aside money this year....":  time to replace an appliance or get a new car!

"I can't wait to sleep in tomorrow...."  kids are awake at 6:35 and want breakfast!

"I am excited about getting away this weekend......"  and someone gets sick!

So, on the heals of having family stay with us for over 3 weeks  (thus the reason for my hiatus from blogging), I was just looking forward to having a nice quiet week.

Famous.  Last.  Words.

Tuesday evening Maya took some sort of spill, tripped up the stairs we think, and landed on a toy.  The only witness was Riley and neither seem to be very reliable sources at times.   Immediate screams....I meet her at the top of the stairs (with her still standing at the bottom) to see blood soaking the side of her face.....  So, we met Daddy at the front door with a blood-covered kid.  (Welcome home Dear, how was your day?).  Bleeding stopped, child calmed.  But we knew a trip to the ER was necessary as the cut was just above her eyebrow.  Living in the "country" means the nearest ER is roughly 25 minutes, and not really sure we could trust that Urgent Care 15 min away would be open (yup, we are THAT country.....), I packed her up and headed to the hospital. 

She was a trooper....during the entire 2 1/2 hr wait (I swear we hit ER rush hour).  She loved people watching and talking to nurses and the security guard.  She was very excited to see her blood and know what was going happen....and as soon as we got her into a bed (1 hr and 45 min later)....she was super-pumped that she had her very own TV and was asking to spend the night.  (Sorry kid, not the Hilton).  Three sutures later, off we went....to grab fries and a milkshake for our patient (yes, I am that parent who at 10 pm fills their kid with salt and sugar!). 

Mommy's make-shift head dressing (held on with scotch tape)

Loving the accommodations

Head wound

Waiting for the numbing cream to work

All fixed up

So we are 2 days post-injury.  She's her old, chipper self.  Hardly seems to slow her down at all, although I keep waiting for the girls to bust it open when they wrestle.

So, this blog really isn't the creative outlet I was probably hoping to have after month off, but hey, this is a day in our lives.  All I have to say is that I am hoping for a super-busy, ultra crazy, insane, intense next couple of months.  Let's hope those are "famous last words"......

A great man

With Father's Day just a few days away, I pause to think of and honor all of the great men in my life.  To start,  my amazing husband Bill who is an absolutely wonderful, loving father to our kids.  To my nurturing, carefree dad, Vaughn.  My witty step-dad Larry.  My caring father-in-law Bill.  My brother Josh, my brothers-in-law, the godfathers to my children and my son Aaron.  All deserving of special recognition this Father's Day. 

But there is someone missing from the list, and he's been missing from our lives for many years.  My Grandpa Stan was a truly virtuous, loving, helpful, soulful man that I cherished growing up.  Perhaps it was because we lived with my grandparents for the first year of my life, or the fact that I was the first grandchild, but there was always a special bond between Grandpa and I.  I remember running into the fields on hot summer days to bring him cold lemonade has he worked the crops.  There were sleepovers at Grandpa & Grandma's house where you'd hear his booming voice yell in and tell us to go to sleep because it was too late.  He was the guy I called to pull me out of the ditch when I made my first drive home from church in our standard car and failed to accurately judge the distance at the end of our driveway.  He's the rock I cried to when I was so scared to leave college.  There were countless fishing trips and hundreds (if not thousands) of fish we caught.  There was laughter.  There were so many great memories.  He was taken from us too soon, over 11 years ago.  It seems too crazy to think that he's been gone that long.  I still vividly remember the last time I saw him and spoke to him.  I remember as I was leaving a football party at his house and sat on his lap to give him a kiss goodbye and he said "Be careful".  And I said "I always am.  Love you".

Only a handful of times over the last decade plus have I dreamt of Grandpa Stan.  Not always is it a crystal-clear dream where I can actually see him or talk to him, it's always been more of a "feeling" that the person in the dream is him.  I am sharing a dream I had a few months ago.  It was clear and real and I think full of meaning and comfort.  To set the back-story, Bill and I had been invited last minute by some friends to go to the Kentucky Derby.  (Not that we are big race enthusiasts, but here lies the setting for the dream). 

I dreamt that I went to the  Kentucky Derby with 5 girlfriends.  We had 5 seats up in the "bleacher" section and 1 seat down in the premium level seating.  I was the one down in the good seats.  I was asking a Derby worker if someone from up in the bleacher section wanted to trade seats and move down so I could sit with all of my friends.  She was saying that it wasn't possible and that these seats were better and didn't I want to stay here and have a better view?  Well, there was a guy in front of me in a navy sport coat and a hat (like an old fashion hat with a feather?!?!?!).  The guy turns around so I could only see his profile and winks at me.  It was Grandpa Stan.  Totally, no question that it was him.   He stood up and gave me a hug and said "these ARE the good seats" and we sat and talked for ages.  Well, very quickly the dream turned to where we were all pulling into the A-Frame house where my grandparents lived (actually my Dad & Vicky live there now, but in the dream Grandma Fran was still living there) and apparently the whole family had traveled to the Derby together and were meeting back at her place to pick up cars.  All of the kids (12 girls have been born into our family in the 11 years since he passed away) were playing in the front yard and as I was walking up the steps and the front walk to the porch,  I turned to look and there was Stan standing in the yard up near the corner where the 2 roads meet just watching the kids play.  He just lifted his hand and waived at me.  I went running onto the porch and waved through the window to where my sister Carolann was sitting at the kitchen table with some others and I was motioning for her to come outside.  By the time she came outside he was gone.  I told her about what I had seen at the Derby and just then in the yard and she told me I must have been dreaming.  We both went inside and picked up the newspaper that was laying there because the front page had an article about the Derby.  On the front cover was a picture of me talking to the Derby worker.....and behind us in the background was Stan. 

So not once, but 3 times in my dream he was there.  I knew at the time I was dreaming but I just kept hoping I wouldn't wake up and the dream just kept going.  I was in tears when I told Bill about it the next morning....and I am getting a little choked up now.  It was so real, I could feel him hugging me and that ornery wink was so classic Stan.  Bill said it was just his way of letting me know he's there, he's fine, he's enjoying the view from the good seats and that's he's watching over all the kids.

This past year with the help of my Uncle John and Aunt Melissa we conspired to make a memory DVD of Grandpa as a surprise gift for the family for Christmas.  Together we viewed over 20 hours of old family movies Grandpa had taped, countless photos and selected the perfect songs.  My talented brother-in-law combined all of the raw footage, photos and music and produced the most amazing hour-long "highlights" DVD.  As a family, we sat together on New Years Day and watched the movie.  We laughed and cried and remembered all of the wonderful treasures and gifts that Grandpa gave to each one of us.  I love that I can pop in the  DVD anytime I want and see his face and hear his voice.  It's no substitute for the real thing, but between that and our memories and dreams, I fondly remember the many wonderful times we had together and try not to be (too) sad about the years we've missed together.  Just like I hope the dream represents, he's always around watching and enjoying the view. 

While doing our DVD project last year I found this picture of Grandpa from one of our fishing trips to Rock Lake, Canada in July 1994. I'd like to think that this year on Father's Day he's just like this picture.  Catching a quick cat-nap at the edge of a peaceful lake after a successful morning of fishing.   Happy Father's Day Grandpa.

 

Temper Tantrums

Temper Tantrums.  ICK!  Just those 2 words can make any parent cringe.  Even if we don't have kids, we've all witnessed the doozies in various stores, restaurants, etc.  There are your garden-variety tantrums....and then there are the knock-down-drag-out kind that just make you go crazy.  Kids throw temper tantrums for various reasons:  they are tired, they are bored, they are scared, they just don't know any better/their parents just don't care.  When I see such tantrums I always try to do 2 things:  #1 don't further escalate the issue by staring or drawing further attention to the situation and #2 don't judge the situation because you really don't know what is happening.

I take pride in the fact that my girls are very well-behaved in public.  We get countless compliments from complete strangers on how good they are, how well mannered, very attentive, etc.  I commented in an early blog post that our lives revolve around schedules.  More than just schedules, 4 things in fact:  schedules, structure, organization and expectation.  I believe my girls are extremely equip to handle public places and experiences.  They know what it means to be well-behaved and they know what is expected of them.  If I see signs that they are wearing down, getting overly tired, etc I know to change the setting or make ready to leave before things get to be too much for them.  I am happy that my girls are not temper-tantrum kids.

Until.  Today. 

The girls started swim lessons today.  I thought I was saving myself the headache and aggravation by enrolling Maya & Riley in the Pre-school Pike class and then enrolling Teagan in the Parent/Child swim which coincided with the older group.  This means only one trip to the Y each week (and when you have a 27 min drive each way, that is a plus).   We spent the weekend in Indianapolis visiting Aaron and spent a great deal of time on Saturday swimming with the girls in the pool.  They are very comfortable around water and love to "swim".  We were really talking-up the start of lessons this week and they were so excited.  This morning over breakfast they couldn't wait to get into their suits and head out.  We got to the pool and they were practically dancing around waiting for them to open the pool doors.  They were good sitting on their towels during roll call and meeting the instructor.  I watched them walk hand-in hand to the edge of the water and sit with their feet in the water.  Watched them sit on the pool steps and start to get wet.  And Teagan and I started her lesson.  And all of that fun, calm and excitement.....lasted 10 minutes.  They spotted me on the other side of the pool in the water with Teagan and, pardon me, but all hell broke loose.  They were not happy, and these shrill screams erupted and everyone in the pool area knew they weren't happy.  All three classes!!  Their teacher had to come get me because they had climbed out of the pool and wandered away from the class. (Side note, I DO NOT THINK that 12 kids and ONE instructor and one parent helper is enough, especially when they are 3 & 4 years old).  So I had to get Teagan out of the pool and go try to calm them down and rejoin the class.  Nope, weren't having any part of that.  I took them from the pool back into the locker room, calmed them down some and as soon as we got back poolside, they just started all over again.  For about 20 seconds I was ready to wrap them all into towels and just leave.  Obviously they were disrupting 3 different classes.  Obviously their instructors weren't able to control the situation.  Obviously the 2 lifeguards standing there weren't doing anything.....other than totally shooting me dirty looks.  OH NO, why today of all days do they decide to throw the ultimate tantrum?!

Then, instead of embarrassed or worried I decided that my kids need to learn to swim!  We live less than 100 yards from the edge of a lake.  Swimming is a skill they need.  Swimming is a necessity for safety.  I had to quickly realize they were simply out of their element.  This was something very new to them.  They were in a group with older kids that had obviously taken lessons before they they just didn't know what to do.  So, in the fashion of "sink or swim" I just handed them back to the teacher and helper and Teagan and I walked away back to her lesson.  Oh, they continued to cry, kick, scream, howl....you name it.  And everyone saw it and heard it.  They got back into the pool and went through the drills, crying the whole time.  Teagan missed half of her lesson while I was trying to calm them down.

And then Teagan's not-so-subtle-teacher "suggested" that maybe I switch classes so that the girls don't see me.  Sure, I am quite positive that was a large part of the problem.  But, as I mentioned I live 27 min ONE WAY from the Y (because the local pool 9 min away won't do pre-k swim lessons).  It's not very feasible to me to drive more than one day/week.  Plus, I would have no where to leave Maya & Riley when I am in the water with Teagan for 30 min.  I talked to their instructor who said just bring them back next week and we'll give it another try.  I appreciate her attitude.  Obviously having such a young group she is used to this.  There was another boy there just as upset.  (So again, 2 adults to 12 kids and THREE of them are upset......). 

On the drive home I was really upset.  Trying to figure out how to rearrange schedules to make it work.  I need the girls to go to lessons and like the atmosphere and want to learn.  I want them to understand that it's not OK to act like that and it's better just to "go with the flow" and try it.  I want it to be a positive experience for all of us and I want them to be excited about going back.  They have already adamantly told me they are not returning to class next week.  I can't let them quit or give up one session in.  That's not a good attitude and not a good example. 

While I know that my kids won't always be those adorable, polite little darlings in public I had sure hoped that they wouldn't be the temper tantrum tag-team.  I would have hoped that a few of those other moms and Y staff would have been a little more sympathetic and a little less critical with their looks.  So I am feeling slightly defeated and a little sad that this wasn't a better experience for them.  As parents we only want good things for our kids, but as adults we know that nothing comes easy and it takes lots of practice.  I don't want my girls to be miserable while at swim lessons because I don't want to instill a fear of water in them.  It's one of those tricky, thin lines we walk as parents.  I am trying not to beat myself up too much and really trying not to be angry at them for being so disruptive and upset.  We'll figure it out and make it work.  It's just going to come down to sink or swim.

And I hope swimming wins!