Stuff

We have Too.  Much.  Stuff.  Waaaayyyyyy too much.  And no matter how much I try to control the vast amounts of stuff that lives in this house.....it multiplies.  Seriously, every night it grows.   Laundry, toys, books, craft supplies, hunting & fishing paraphernalia it can get crazy.  The kitchen island bar is the dumping ground for mail, craft projects, "treasures" as it's right inside the front door.  I am in constant purge mode.  Clothes, books & toys that are out grown get passed down, sold or donated.  I try to keep my closets purged of barely worn or wrong size clothes.  The girls color dozens of color pages a day.  I supposed I am a bad mom that I don't save every "masterpiece", but there are some special ones that do get tucked away. Otherwise when they aren't lookin'....in the trash they go!! I can only imagine the influx once the twins start pre-K in a few weeks.  Bill's hunting & fishing room....well, that doesn't get touched and thank goodness it's locked up and I don't have to see it, or it would drive me bonkers!  The garage.....oh my.......the horrible garage that we seem to clean every 3 months, add more racks & storage and vow to keep maintained.....and tools get dumped back without being put away, Bill's literature and sample totes get discarded when it's time for him to clean out his car, sidewalk chalk, bikes, & bubbles pile up.  This DOES drive me bonkers when I try to pull the truck into the garage and run into half the STUFF that is there.  Then we have to spend hours on a nice weekend afternoon trying to clean it back out again.   Thank goodness the girls have a designated toy room in the basement....so when the end of the day comes and I just don't feel like making sure it's all picked up....the stuff stays where it is until the next day.  At least if it's in the basement, I don't have to look at it.

Here is a picture of the toyroom taken recently.  That thing can go from clean to destroyed in 60 seconds flat.  The toyroom is adjacent to my home office.  There is a bathroom and family room off of this room as well.  So when I need to work at home for a bit, the girls are perfectly content to play away.  I am trying to work at being more diligent at having them help pick stuff up.  And they do good work and know where STUFF goes when it's time to get down to business.  But usually it ends up an unbalanced work load and one of the girls picks up more while the other 2 wander off and get distracted by a book or a game. 

And I sit here in the office blogging while the girls are in the room playing right now.  However I look around this office and Bill's "amazing" filing system of piles of papers and samples thrown all over the floor and it's no wonder they feel it's acceptable to leave stuff lying around.   I used to be a "save-every-scrap-of-paper-that -meant-anything or save-every-gift-ever-given" person.  Not any more.  Purge, discard, donate....whatever it takes to get this place manageable.   I have probably spent hundreds of dollars in the past year buying more shelves, storage bins & units just to house this stuff.  Bill said I'd have saved a lot of money if we just had less stuff.  Yup!

I am encouraging the girls to start making decisions of their own on things it's time to pass down.  They love to give things to their cousin "Baby Kate" or a friend's daughter "Baby Jasmyn."  Every time I get rid of something as long as I tell them it went to one of those two, they are really fine with that!!   So today I have plans to toss out that Hungry Hippos game that is missing like 1/2 of the white marbles and that puzzle that was given to us that is missing a piece right from the center.  Seriously, they've got enough other stuff, what's a few games? 

I recently repinned an item on Pintrest (seriously addicted to Pintrest) about having your kids collect unused/needed toys, books, games & clothes around the holiday and on Christmas Eve they should be placed in a large bag and left under the tree for Santa to collect and pass onto other kids that aren't as fortunate as we are.  What a great idea!  I wonder if I could come up with a holiday every month that required someone to stop by and pick up bags of unused items?  In addition to getting rid of some of this stuff, I hope its a good tool to help the girls learn to think of others and to begin to ascertain the difference of what is really meaningful to them and what is just stuff. 

So the twins birthday is just 2 weeks away.  They also start school the same week.  I can only imagine all of the new stuff that will work its way into our house that week.  If anyone is short on "stuff", I'd be happy to pass it along.  Otherwise I'll just keep plugging away here.....

So my kids DO listen to me

It feels like I talk to a brick wall some days.  Most days.  I repeat questions and instructions... well.... repeatedly between my kids and my husband.  Does anyone around this joint ever listen to me?  Seriously, brick walls....every single one of them!  And I wonder if I'll ever get through to any of them.

And then there's the "ah ha" moment, when you know the DO listen to you. 

Take for example Teagan's new found phrase....."damnit".  Oh boy.  We never worried about the twins spewing foul language, they just never did it.  Here with Teagan lately she is a little sponge... and then a repeat performer.  A few months ago a dinner she dropped her fork (or spoon or cup or whatever) and just blurts out "damnit it".  Oh crap, here we go.  A few minor finger points....as I constant remind Daddy to watch his mouth...but then he insists the kids are around me much more throughout the day so it must have come from me.  Whatever.  We didn't make a big deal, hoping it was just an isolated incident.  Fast forward a few weeks in the midst of our potty training with Teagan.  All was going very well, picked up on it so fast.  Still trying to get the hang of "#2" one day I was sitting at the kitchen island typing and email and I could smell her standing behind me. 

Me:  "Oh no, TT, you are supposed to tell mommy when you have to potty." 
Teagan: "Mommy, I have to potty."
Me:  "Well, that's obvious.  Let's go get you cleaned up."
And while in the bathroom taking care of "business" I say "TT, you need to go potty like a big girl so we don't have accidents in your big girl undies."
Teagan, looking at the mess, "oh, damnit". 

Oh, so THIS is when she listens. 

But there are the times you know the kids listen to what you say in a good way.  I love the way Maya will tell the girls "Oh, that's a great job sweetie", because that is something I say to them a lot.  Or Riley likes to say "That's a great job Mommy, you worked so hard on that."  "Oh be careful Mommy, I hold your hand" is Teagan's copycat phrase to what I say.  This morning the twins woke at 6:37 am (ugh) and crawled in bed with me.  Their imaginations are going crazy these days and they are always in role-play mode.  I was half in-and-out of sleep and I hear them talking about exercise.  "Why do you exercise" Riley asks Maya.  Maya responds "oh, I want to be healthy and strong for my family and set a good example for you girls."  This is a proud moment because I know somewhere along the way I have said this to them and she's remembered.

I realize what we say (and do) affects everything in our children's lives.  I am glad they repeat phrases (most of the time) of the positive things I say to them or around them.  I am glad my response to the exercise question was about the lasting effects of exercise and not "I am excited to finally lose the last of the baby weight from 4 years ago and want to fit into my skinny jeans this fall."  I want their view of exercise to be positive, not to keep up with societies demands that they should be thin or fit into skinny jeans.  I want them to realize when they work hard on a coloring or craft project that their efforts are recognized.  I want them to know its a good thing to praise a job well done.  And that I don't just yell "be careful" because I don't want to clean up blood, but because I am honestly showing concern for their safety. 

My kids do listen and I know this.  I also know they are kids and that often times when I tell them something or ask them something that they are engrossed in something far more important, just like I am at times.  I hope they listen more often to the good things I say, and forget about the times those "doozies" come flying out of my mouth. 

Confessions of a Bad Blogger

Hello, my name is Emily and I am bad blogger busy mom.  With 4 kids, 3 houses, 1 needy husband, a full-time SAHM job and 2 part time jobs....it's no wonder I only seem to have time to blog every 5 weeks or so.  Let's just say I'll probably never make a living at it, no matter how much I enjoy every minute of it.  I am a great list maker, practically can't go a day without checking something off my to-do list.  Maybe I just need to literally add blogging to the list, and then it'll get done. 

I wake early every morning and mentally go through my daily check list, usually while in the shower because it's literally the only free 10 minutes I have to myself every day.  There are days like today when I am totally "on" (in spite of skipping my 5 am work out) and before 8am I had 2 loads of laundry going, 5 of the beds stripped and 2 remade, kids fed (although still in their jammies).  So today I have to go to the post office and pharmacy (2 of the girls favorite places since they get stickers at one and suckers at the other) so at least they are happy to come along.  Then it's more laundry, remake the remaining beds, lunch, naptime which means I can concentrate on online bank transfers and bill payments, emails to the corporate office for Bill, some filing, that 5 am workout that I missed needs to be rescheduled.  The girls want to bake cookies and there is dinner to plan.  Somewhere in there I should spend time with my kids.  I started some craft projects towards our church's annual fall festival and I am really excited about them so I'd like to spend a little time working on those today.  So, blogging can wait.  Bad Blogger!!!!  (And not to mention the fact that I am almost a year and a half behind on scrapbooking.......BAD SCRAPPER!!!!!!!). 

No, just a busy mom. 

I love having blogging to turn to when I need to clear my head, air my thoughts or brag about my kids.  I love having other bloggers to read and see their perspective.  It's funny (coincidental maybe) that often times I blog in my head a really great thought I have while going about my day (and of course never have 10 minutes to sit down and type it out), and on more than on occasion an old high-school friend Jessica who writes an amazing blog will post something that I have totally been thinking.  It's like she can read my thoughts.  She's also a busy SAHM and sounds like our days could easily be traded.  Her recent posts about raising kids and scrapbooking have really hit home with me.

So I vow to be a better blogger.  For myself.  For my sanity.  For my husband who encourages me and for my kids who will someday be busy women themselves and perhaps find a little humor and maybe a little help in knowing what it's like to do it all enough to get by. 

My to-do list might not all get done today.  Probably those "luxury" items like crafting, scrapping or maybe a few chapters in a book I just started.  But, at least blogging is getting crossed of my list today.  Better blogger. 

Test Drive

Today, I took the girls to Canton and we went for a test drive.  Time to get some new wheels.....for them!

The twins have outgrown their tricycles and honestly haven't shown much interest in them all summer.  Gotta practice that bike riding, so I decided we'd go shopping for big girl bikes as an early birthday present so they could have several months of use before it gets too cold. 

Growing up in the country, riding bikes was the ONLY way to get places when you were a kid.  Before we were able to ride solo on the country roads, we had to learn to ride bikes in our gravel driveway.  We'd ride up and down, throwing stones, turning around near the silo by the barn.  Once we got brave enough we'd ride down to the road....and occasionally if no one caught us, we'd ride about 40 yards down the road and turn around in the barn driveway near the hayshed and high-tail-it back to the yard before we got busted.  There were the dare-devil days when we'd use bailer twine to tie our red Radio Flyer wagon onto the back of our pink banana-seat Huffy bike and try to convince each other that riding in the  wagon was safe.....not too often did we have takers for back there.  We practiced our hand signals (yup, in the driveway) so those riders behind us knew when we were turning right or left.  That was about as much safety as you had to worry about, no use for bike helmets or knee pads & wrist guards back then.   When we had  convinced our parents we were old enough to be trusted along, we were set free to cruise the block.  Riding around the block for us meant about a mile trek and often times we'd cut through the tractor path in the fields when the ride was too long.  There were only 5 houses on our block, and 3 of them were family, so you'd have to stop over at Aunt Beth's house or at Grandma's house and check in.  (It's obvious now that as soon as we left the driveway a call was made to the respective houses to be on the lookout for wild kids running the streets of the neighborhood).  When I got my first job at the general store of the campground around the corner from our house (I was probably 13 or so), I'd have to depend on my own 2 legs and 2 wheels to get me there and back. 

It's crazy to now think of my girls learning to ride their bikes.  Of course safety is obviously a bit more of a concern these days, because we were NOT allowed to leave Toys R Us until all 3 had bike helmets!  For those of you that have been to our house, you know that learning to ride in our driveway will be a little difficult.  Once they master the small flat area we have, we'll have to graduate to loading everyone up in the truck and driving to the walking trail or the paved beach parking lot.  (Although I am willing to bet money that one of them will come up with the bright idea to tie the wagon on the back of a bike and try and convince the others to give it a go).

Ready to roll

Riley on her new Strawberry Shortcake bike

Maya with her new Barbie bike

Teagan is perfectly content with her hand-me-down Radio Flyer trike!!!

Famous Last Words

We've all done it....said things that within minutes of leaving our mouths, have opened us up for impending.....doom(?).   

"I am looking forward to setting aside money this year....":  time to replace an appliance or get a new car!

"I can't wait to sleep in tomorrow...."  kids are awake at 6:35 and want breakfast!

"I am excited about getting away this weekend......"  and someone gets sick!

So, on the heals of having family stay with us for over 3 weeks  (thus the reason for my hiatus from blogging), I was just looking forward to having a nice quiet week.

Famous.  Last.  Words.

Tuesday evening Maya took some sort of spill, tripped up the stairs we think, and landed on a toy.  The only witness was Riley and neither seem to be very reliable sources at times.   Immediate screams....I meet her at the top of the stairs (with her still standing at the bottom) to see blood soaking the side of her face.....  So, we met Daddy at the front door with a blood-covered kid.  (Welcome home Dear, how was your day?).  Bleeding stopped, child calmed.  But we knew a trip to the ER was necessary as the cut was just above her eyebrow.  Living in the "country" means the nearest ER is roughly 25 minutes, and not really sure we could trust that Urgent Care 15 min away would be open (yup, we are THAT country.....), I packed her up and headed to the hospital. 

She was a trooper....during the entire 2 1/2 hr wait (I swear we hit ER rush hour).  She loved people watching and talking to nurses and the security guard.  She was very excited to see her blood and know what was going happen....and as soon as we got her into a bed (1 hr and 45 min later)....she was super-pumped that she had her very own TV and was asking to spend the night.  (Sorry kid, not the Hilton).  Three sutures later, off we went....to grab fries and a milkshake for our patient (yes, I am that parent who at 10 pm fills their kid with salt and sugar!). 

Mommy's make-shift head dressing (held on with scotch tape)

Loving the accommodations

Head wound

Waiting for the numbing cream to work

All fixed up

So we are 2 days post-injury.  She's her old, chipper self.  Hardly seems to slow her down at all, although I keep waiting for the girls to bust it open when they wrestle.

So, this blog really isn't the creative outlet I was probably hoping to have after month off, but hey, this is a day in our lives.  All I have to say is that I am hoping for a super-busy, ultra crazy, insane, intense next couple of months.  Let's hope those are "famous last words"......

A great man

With Father's Day just a few days away, I pause to think of and honor all of the great men in my life.  To start,  my amazing husband Bill who is an absolutely wonderful, loving father to our kids.  To my nurturing, carefree dad, Vaughn.  My witty step-dad Larry.  My caring father-in-law Bill.  My brother Josh, my brothers-in-law, the godfathers to my children and my son Aaron.  All deserving of special recognition this Father's Day. 

But there is someone missing from the list, and he's been missing from our lives for many years.  My Grandpa Stan was a truly virtuous, loving, helpful, soulful man that I cherished growing up.  Perhaps it was because we lived with my grandparents for the first year of my life, or the fact that I was the first grandchild, but there was always a special bond between Grandpa and I.  I remember running into the fields on hot summer days to bring him cold lemonade has he worked the crops.  There were sleepovers at Grandpa & Grandma's house where you'd hear his booming voice yell in and tell us to go to sleep because it was too late.  He was the guy I called to pull me out of the ditch when I made my first drive home from church in our standard car and failed to accurately judge the distance at the end of our driveway.  He's the rock I cried to when I was so scared to leave college.  There were countless fishing trips and hundreds (if not thousands) of fish we caught.  There was laughter.  There were so many great memories.  He was taken from us too soon, over 11 years ago.  It seems too crazy to think that he's been gone that long.  I still vividly remember the last time I saw him and spoke to him.  I remember as I was leaving a football party at his house and sat on his lap to give him a kiss goodbye and he said "Be careful".  And I said "I always am.  Love you".

Only a handful of times over the last decade plus have I dreamt of Grandpa Stan.  Not always is it a crystal-clear dream where I can actually see him or talk to him, it's always been more of a "feeling" that the person in the dream is him.  I am sharing a dream I had a few months ago.  It was clear and real and I think full of meaning and comfort.  To set the back-story, Bill and I had been invited last minute by some friends to go to the Kentucky Derby.  (Not that we are big race enthusiasts, but here lies the setting for the dream). 

I dreamt that I went to the  Kentucky Derby with 5 girlfriends.  We had 5 seats up in the "bleacher" section and 1 seat down in the premium level seating.  I was the one down in the good seats.  I was asking a Derby worker if someone from up in the bleacher section wanted to trade seats and move down so I could sit with all of my friends.  She was saying that it wasn't possible and that these seats were better and didn't I want to stay here and have a better view?  Well, there was a guy in front of me in a navy sport coat and a hat (like an old fashion hat with a feather?!?!?!).  The guy turns around so I could only see his profile and winks at me.  It was Grandpa Stan.  Totally, no question that it was him.   He stood up and gave me a hug and said "these ARE the good seats" and we sat and talked for ages.  Well, very quickly the dream turned to where we were all pulling into the A-Frame house where my grandparents lived (actually my Dad & Vicky live there now, but in the dream Grandma Fran was still living there) and apparently the whole family had traveled to the Derby together and were meeting back at her place to pick up cars.  All of the kids (12 girls have been born into our family in the 11 years since he passed away) were playing in the front yard and as I was walking up the steps and the front walk to the porch,  I turned to look and there was Stan standing in the yard up near the corner where the 2 roads meet just watching the kids play.  He just lifted his hand and waived at me.  I went running onto the porch and waved through the window to where my sister Carolann was sitting at the kitchen table with some others and I was motioning for her to come outside.  By the time she came outside he was gone.  I told her about what I had seen at the Derby and just then in the yard and she told me I must have been dreaming.  We both went inside and picked up the newspaper that was laying there because the front page had an article about the Derby.  On the front cover was a picture of me talking to the Derby worker.....and behind us in the background was Stan. 

So not once, but 3 times in my dream he was there.  I knew at the time I was dreaming but I just kept hoping I wouldn't wake up and the dream just kept going.  I was in tears when I told Bill about it the next morning....and I am getting a little choked up now.  It was so real, I could feel him hugging me and that ornery wink was so classic Stan.  Bill said it was just his way of letting me know he's there, he's fine, he's enjoying the view from the good seats and that's he's watching over all the kids.

This past year with the help of my Uncle John and Aunt Melissa we conspired to make a memory DVD of Grandpa as a surprise gift for the family for Christmas.  Together we viewed over 20 hours of old family movies Grandpa had taped, countless photos and selected the perfect songs.  My talented brother-in-law combined all of the raw footage, photos and music and produced the most amazing hour-long "highlights" DVD.  As a family, we sat together on New Years Day and watched the movie.  We laughed and cried and remembered all of the wonderful treasures and gifts that Grandpa gave to each one of us.  I love that I can pop in the  DVD anytime I want and see his face and hear his voice.  It's no substitute for the real thing, but between that and our memories and dreams, I fondly remember the many wonderful times we had together and try not to be (too) sad about the years we've missed together.  Just like I hope the dream represents, he's always around watching and enjoying the view. 

While doing our DVD project last year I found this picture of Grandpa from one of our fishing trips to Rock Lake, Canada in July 1994. I'd like to think that this year on Father's Day he's just like this picture.  Catching a quick cat-nap at the edge of a peaceful lake after a successful morning of fishing.   Happy Father's Day Grandpa.

 

Temper Tantrums

Temper Tantrums.  ICK!  Just those 2 words can make any parent cringe.  Even if we don't have kids, we've all witnessed the doozies in various stores, restaurants, etc.  There are your garden-variety tantrums....and then there are the knock-down-drag-out kind that just make you go crazy.  Kids throw temper tantrums for various reasons:  they are tired, they are bored, they are scared, they just don't know any better/their parents just don't care.  When I see such tantrums I always try to do 2 things:  #1 don't further escalate the issue by staring or drawing further attention to the situation and #2 don't judge the situation because you really don't know what is happening.

I take pride in the fact that my girls are very well-behaved in public.  We get countless compliments from complete strangers on how good they are, how well mannered, very attentive, etc.  I commented in an early blog post that our lives revolve around schedules.  More than just schedules, 4 things in fact:  schedules, structure, organization and expectation.  I believe my girls are extremely equip to handle public places and experiences.  They know what it means to be well-behaved and they know what is expected of them.  If I see signs that they are wearing down, getting overly tired, etc I know to change the setting or make ready to leave before things get to be too much for them.  I am happy that my girls are not temper-tantrum kids.

Until.  Today. 

The girls started swim lessons today.  I thought I was saving myself the headache and aggravation by enrolling Maya & Riley in the Pre-school Pike class and then enrolling Teagan in the Parent/Child swim which coincided with the older group.  This means only one trip to the Y each week (and when you have a 27 min drive each way, that is a plus).   We spent the weekend in Indianapolis visiting Aaron and spent a great deal of time on Saturday swimming with the girls in the pool.  They are very comfortable around water and love to "swim".  We were really talking-up the start of lessons this week and they were so excited.  This morning over breakfast they couldn't wait to get into their suits and head out.  We got to the pool and they were practically dancing around waiting for them to open the pool doors.  They were good sitting on their towels during roll call and meeting the instructor.  I watched them walk hand-in hand to the edge of the water and sit with their feet in the water.  Watched them sit on the pool steps and start to get wet.  And Teagan and I started her lesson.  And all of that fun, calm and excitement.....lasted 10 minutes.  They spotted me on the other side of the pool in the water with Teagan and, pardon me, but all hell broke loose.  They were not happy, and these shrill screams erupted and everyone in the pool area knew they weren't happy.  All three classes!!  Their teacher had to come get me because they had climbed out of the pool and wandered away from the class. (Side note, I DO NOT THINK that 12 kids and ONE instructor and one parent helper is enough, especially when they are 3 & 4 years old).  So I had to get Teagan out of the pool and go try to calm them down and rejoin the class.  Nope, weren't having any part of that.  I took them from the pool back into the locker room, calmed them down some and as soon as we got back poolside, they just started all over again.  For about 20 seconds I was ready to wrap them all into towels and just leave.  Obviously they were disrupting 3 different classes.  Obviously their instructors weren't able to control the situation.  Obviously the 2 lifeguards standing there weren't doing anything.....other than totally shooting me dirty looks.  OH NO, why today of all days do they decide to throw the ultimate tantrum?!

Then, instead of embarrassed or worried I decided that my kids need to learn to swim!  We live less than 100 yards from the edge of a lake.  Swimming is a skill they need.  Swimming is a necessity for safety.  I had to quickly realize they were simply out of their element.  This was something very new to them.  They were in a group with older kids that had obviously taken lessons before they they just didn't know what to do.  So, in the fashion of "sink or swim" I just handed them back to the teacher and helper and Teagan and I walked away back to her lesson.  Oh, they continued to cry, kick, scream, howl....you name it.  And everyone saw it and heard it.  They got back into the pool and went through the drills, crying the whole time.  Teagan missed half of her lesson while I was trying to calm them down.

And then Teagan's not-so-subtle-teacher "suggested" that maybe I switch classes so that the girls don't see me.  Sure, I am quite positive that was a large part of the problem.  But, as I mentioned I live 27 min ONE WAY from the Y (because the local pool 9 min away won't do pre-k swim lessons).  It's not very feasible to me to drive more than one day/week.  Plus, I would have no where to leave Maya & Riley when I am in the water with Teagan for 30 min.  I talked to their instructor who said just bring them back next week and we'll give it another try.  I appreciate her attitude.  Obviously having such a young group she is used to this.  There was another boy there just as upset.  (So again, 2 adults to 12 kids and THREE of them are upset......). 

On the drive home I was really upset.  Trying to figure out how to rearrange schedules to make it work.  I need the girls to go to lessons and like the atmosphere and want to learn.  I want them to understand that it's not OK to act like that and it's better just to "go with the flow" and try it.  I want it to be a positive experience for all of us and I want them to be excited about going back.  They have already adamantly told me they are not returning to class next week.  I can't let them quit or give up one session in.  That's not a good attitude and not a good example. 

While I know that my kids won't always be those adorable, polite little darlings in public I had sure hoped that they wouldn't be the temper tantrum tag-team.  I would have hoped that a few of those other moms and Y staff would have been a little more sympathetic and a little less critical with their looks.  So I am feeling slightly defeated and a little sad that this wasn't a better experience for them.  As parents we only want good things for our kids, but as adults we know that nothing comes easy and it takes lots of practice.  I don't want my girls to be miserable while at swim lessons because I don't want to instill a fear of water in them.  It's one of those tricky, thin lines we walk as parents.  I am trying not to beat myself up too much and really trying not to be angry at them for being so disruptive and upset.  We'll figure it out and make it work.  It's just going to come down to sink or swim.

And I hope swimming wins!