It feels like I talk to a brick wall some days. Most days. I repeat questions and instructions... well.... repeatedly between my kids and my husband. Does anyone around this joint ever listen to me? Seriously, brick walls....every single one of them! And I wonder if I'll ever get through to any of them.
And then there's the "ah ha" moment, when you know the DO listen to you.
Take for example Teagan's new found phrase....."damnit". Oh boy. We never worried about the twins spewing foul language, they just never did it. Here with Teagan lately she is a little sponge... and then a repeat performer. A few months ago a dinner she dropped her fork (or spoon or cup or whatever) and just blurts out "damnit it". Oh crap, here we go. A few minor finger points....as I constant remind Daddy to watch his mouth...but then he insists the kids are around me much more throughout the day so it must have come from me. Whatever. We didn't make a big deal, hoping it was just an isolated incident. Fast forward a few weeks in the midst of our potty training with Teagan. All was going very well, picked up on it so fast. Still trying to get the hang of "#2" one day I was sitting at the kitchen island typing and email and I could smell her standing behind me.
Me: "Oh no, TT, you are supposed to tell mommy when you have to potty."
Teagan: "Mommy, I have to potty."
Me: "Well, that's obvious. Let's go get you cleaned up."
And while in the bathroom taking care of "business" I say "TT, you need to go potty like a big girl so we don't have accidents in your big girl undies."
Teagan, looking at the mess, "oh, damnit".
Oh, so THIS is when she listens.
But there are the times you know the kids listen to what you say in a good way. I love the way Maya will tell the girls "Oh, that's a great job sweetie", because that is something I say to them a lot. Or Riley likes to say "That's a great job Mommy, you worked so hard on that." "Oh be careful Mommy, I hold your hand" is Teagan's copycat phrase to what I say. This morning the twins woke at 6:37 am (ugh) and crawled in bed with me. Their imaginations are going crazy these days and they are always in role-play mode. I was half in-and-out of sleep and I hear them talking about exercise. "Why do you exercise" Riley asks Maya. Maya responds "oh, I want to be healthy and strong for my family and set a good example for you girls." This is a proud moment because I know somewhere along the way I have said this to them and she's remembered.
I realize what we say (and do) affects everything in our children's lives. I am glad they repeat phrases (most of the time) of the positive things I say to them or around them. I am glad my response to the exercise question was about the lasting effects of exercise and not "I am excited to finally lose the last of the baby weight from 4 years ago and want to fit into my skinny jeans this fall." I want their view of exercise to be positive, not to keep up with societies demands that they should be thin or fit into skinny jeans. I want them to realize when they work hard on a coloring or craft project that their efforts are recognized. I want them to know its a good thing to praise a job well done. And that I don't just yell "be careful" because I don't want to clean up blood, but because I am honestly showing concern for their safety.
My kids do listen and I know this. I also know they are kids and that often times when I tell them something or ask them something that they are engrossed in something far more important, just like I am at times. I hope they listen more often to the good things I say, and forget about the times those "doozies" come flying out of my mouth.
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