Parenting. Let's face it, when we start out, we're all amateurs. We spend the better part of 40 weeks reading books and blogs, taking classes, watching DVDs and talking to friends that do have kids all to prepare us for the little miracles that enter our lives. And then....let's face it......all of that preperation doesn't do squat!!! We are Do-It-Yourselfers. I don't recall having any of those "experts" on child rearing at my door at 3 am to help feed the twins. Or no PhD in Early Childhood developement arrived to counsel us on having a 3rd child while trying to adjust the twins to a new sibling and a move at the same time.
I quickly learned that I didn't have time to keep up with books telling me how to be a parent. BEING a parent was much more time consuming. Learning to adjust to put the needs of others before EVERYTHING else. Before being a spouse, a friend, an indivual we are forever a parent. Gone are the carefree days of doing what you want or doing nothing at all. You are forever on-call for those little darlings. We have to make schedules that work for us and that work with our exsisting lives. Being a new mom to Maya and Riley was a little work and a lot fun everyday....and then Bill went back to work and the extra family left....and I looked around one day and said "well girls, it's just the 3 of us." We made do, we are all still standing. And we were just crazy enough to do it again. Teagan joined the mix and we adjusted to make room for her and found that we did it a little faster this time, with a little less effort.
Like most DIY projects you start out dabbling here, practicing there. You may find that there are areas you really excel at, and others that constanly need tweaked. Unlike a home repair project or fixing a car, most of us can't call in an expert to do the parenting work for us. Admittedly I have help of a part-time sitter for the girls, and all working parents have to provide some sort of care plans for their kids, but I don't expect that person to do something for my kids that I don't do myself. No two kids are alike, especially in the same family. While we have structure and expectations, certainly our girls are becoming individuals and want and WILL do things in their own way.
As permanent DIY parents we keep practicing our skills. Most of us will never be a master-craftsman at parenting. We spending each and every day learning. Learning about our kids. Learning from our kids. Perhaps the most interesting thing about being a parent is what we learn about ourselves from our kids.
Maybe years from now my girls will come to me when they are about to become a mother for the first time. Maybe they will desperately seek my advice. Maybe they'll think they have it all figured out. The only advice I'll be able to give them (from one DIYer to another) is: "Never stop practicing. Never stop learning and growing.....with your children and for your children. Never expect perfection, of your kids or of yourself. Love unconditionally. The rest you'll just figure out as you go." I wish I had read a book during those first 35 weeks of pregnancy that had said just those few things. The rest, well, we'll just do ourselves.
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