One of the most important functions of a parent is being a teacher. Everything a child learns in life should have it's basic foundations in the home from a very young age. And by parents preferably. This is my honest opinion. I am not necessarily talking about "school learning" of reading, writing and arithmetic, but everyday basics that are essential for being a good, responsible person.
Take manners for example. How many children don't know manners? I am proud to say that even my 21 month old says please and thank you...and even says excuse me when she burps and Bless You when someone sneezes. Maya and Riley say thank you to people that hold the door open for us, because they have been taught that someone is doing a kind act for us. Kids (and adults) that are just rude can't claim they don't know any better. It's a basic function of being a person. Yesterday I was in line at a certain super-store buying groceries and the last minute necessities for Easter. I was asked to show identification for the alcohol I was purchasing (yes, thank you for thinking I appear younger than 40!!!). The cashier studied my license for at least 2 minutes to make sure it was me. YUP.....just a current blond me doesn't match the brunette of the photo nearly 4 years ago. Then she proceeds to say "well, not that you asked for my opinion, but I like your hair better then....you should go back. VERY FEW people can carry a blond look when they are naturally dark." This from the "lady" with 3 different colors of hair. Then she proceeds to comment about the "fortune" I was spending in sippy cups (I bought 6). However she comments that she has "at least $100 worth of sippy cups at her house for her granddaughters." Oh dear, please don't let those children learn manners from their grandmother. And thus was the hour I had to myself yesterday. Being chastised about my hair from the cashier. Great......this person could learn a thing or 2 from a day at my house!
And another basic foundation is kindness. I took the girls today to visit their great-grandma who is recovering from a horrible car accident at a nursing/rehabilitation facility. They were fussy before we left for home because they just wanted to color. I can't blame them, coloring is fun! Well...after getting there (and a little treat of chocolate candy from grandma), they were quite content with our hour and a half visit. They enjoyed coloring pictures and proudly showing them off. They were even very excited to deliver their "footmade" craft of butterflies made from painting the bottom of their feet.
Respect. For yourself and for others. I cannot tell you how much it unnerves me when people show a blatant disregard for respect. The way you dress, speak, interact...is all a reflection on yourself. Young "adults" that walk around with their stomachs hanging out, boxers hanging out, skirts riding up. No one needs to see that people. It's not going to make you a better person or more popular when you are 25 and trying to land a job. And seriously, these teenagers and the stuff they put on Facebook! Man, have some respect for your parents and yourself. They were young once too....and you will be old someday with a family of your own. I fear for young children whose parents push them into the people the parents want them to be.
Not that I am a perfect parent. I make mistakes. My kids make mistakes. It's a learning process everyday. I am proud that I have people in my life that I relate to as parents and look up to. I am not afraid to ask for advice. I am glad that my kids have the opportunity to learn from me, just as I learn from them. Sometimes even Mommy's have to be reminded to say "please and thank you".
And for those of you wondering, I simply smiled at the cashier and said "thank you" when she handed me the receipt. I guess someone must have taught me better manners!
ReplyDeleteGreat blog, Em! I guess it comes down to this...parenting. Sorry, has to be said. I know everyone has a different situation and no parenting is easy...not by any stretch. However, when it's easier to do nothing, or to do whatever YOU want to do at the time, you need to remember that your children are on to you. What am I saying? If you don't correct and guide your child while they are LITTLE, it won't magically happen when they are older. One of my memories of being "tested" as a parent was taking Anna to one of John's concerts when she was probably about 2 years old. I repeatedly (quietly & patiently) whispered in her ear and gestured for her to sit still and listen. After the concert, one of the parents sitting behind us said, "It's ok...no one minded, she's only little." I looked at her and said, "Yes, she is little and that's why I'm teaching her NOW how to be respectful. Otherwise she won't know how to do this when she's older." I couldn't let her jump all over and do whatever she wanted because she's little and cute...I have to teach her proper behavior in different settings. That's my job as a parent. That's my job is I want a polite and respectful child. Cute only lasts so long...then it just becomes the kid out of control because they've never been taught anything different. I have seen too many kids who "rule the roost" and after seeing the parents' reactions, it suddenly makes sense. Usually there is NO reaction from the parents! As John likes to say, "Eight year olds (or insert current age) don't get a vote." You are right on track and I have seen the result of your efforts! How many times did your girls say "thank you" to me on Monday? They are very polite and therefore, a joy to be around. Thank you for being one of those parents who recognize that you signed on for the long haul and the 24/7 job.
ReplyDeleteAs for teenagers (and older and younger). My biggest fear is this technology age. Granted, I'm on Facebook (obviously) and think it's phenomenal for staying in touch with those far away or just for fun things. What scares me is how many young people (or older!) seem to forget that whatever is posted is seen by LOTS of people! Some are friends with older people, church friends, pastors, former teachers, etc. Make sure whatever you post is something you'd want them to read or see!! There seems to be a big problem differentiating what is "appropriate". I'm mostly shocked by some people's language when they are "friends" with their parents!!! You'd better believe that when (and IF) Anna ever has a Facebook account, the moment I see an F-bomb on her site, her account will be closed and she will being too busy doing chores and working for me and John to Facebook anyway! Just one mom who feels it's my duty to teach appropriateness...another biggie that seems to have been tossed aside.
Thank you for being a mom who gets it! :-)
Great blog Em!! I hope Kate follows in your girls footsteps!!! And I think you're a hot blonde!!
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